Re: Changing boundaries

My nephews and nieces address me by my first name .
I think they should call me auntie.

Re: Changing boundaries

I found it difficult to call my mother in law, Mum. I couldn’t call her by her first name either. I think it was shyness on my part at the time.
When l had children, l did refer to her as Granny, which was what my children called her.

My ex husband is called by his christian name, Terry by our grandchildren. Yet some of my grandchildren call my daughters, Aunty plus their christian name.

Regarding people ringing from companies, they do usually ask first if it’s ok to call you by your first name.

Re: Changing boundaries

Adult family - yes - children - no - every passing stranger - no!

Re: Changing boundaries

I agree.

Re: Changing boundaries

My problem is usually when l am asked if l am a Miss, Ms or Mrs?
Being divorced, l am not sure what my title should be. Miss sounds like l am a spinster or that l am very young!
Ms, sounds like l burned my bra and l am not keen on men!
l prefer Mrs, even though l am no longer married.

Re: Changing boundaries

Call me irresponsible,
Yes I'm unreliable,
Throw in undependable too!
Do my foolish alibis bore you?
Well I'm not too clever, I just adore you!

Re: Changing boundaries

I've never had a Christian name but most family members call me by my first name. My nephews and nieces used the pre-fix "Auntie" when they were children but most of them don't use it often now they are adults.

I have noticed that gradual shift from more formal modes of address during my lifetime. When I was a child, we never referred to the parents of friends or any other adults by their first names - and even adults would not use first names unless they had been invited or given permission to - and it would have been unthinkable to refer to a solicitor or bank manager by their first name!
When I first started work in banking, the norm was to use formal titles. The general unwritten rule was to always use the formal title in professional settings and when speaking about someone to others. It was acceptable to use their first name in private conversations with them, but only if they had previously invited you to use their first name.
Crikey, I'd forgotten how very formal we used to be, until you raised this thread!

The change to using first names between colleagues at work was very gradual and felt more natural. It wasn't until sometime during the late 1980s / early 90s, that it became the norm for our clients to use our first names. At first, I really didn't like the change in company policy which obliged us to encourage clients and the general public to use our first names in our professional dealings but, over time, I just got used to it.

I have never quite lost the habit of using formal titles as a mark of respect, though - I never dropped the Aunt and Uncle style of address and still address the parents of my childhood friends as "Mr" and "Mrs" - and the same goes for some of my elderly neighbours, even though I have known them for years.

Re: Changing boundaries

Times have changed though, because all my friends children call me by my name, have done since they were very small. I am not their aunt after all.

Re: Changing boundaries

I used to call my parents' friends Mr and Mrs too.
Then gradually by their Christian names

In Welsh we have the added complication of also referring to people (when showing respect) by the 2nd person plural ie. Chi not Ti
It's like the Vous not Tu in French

I found that harder to let go

Re: Changing boundaries

Morning Pesta, I know exactly what you mean. When I was young, we lived two doors down from a lovely couple. Their daughter was one of my best friends. We were always taught to address them as Mr & Mrs Bernard, their surname of course.

As the years passed and we became adults and they became Senior Citizens, I would often bump into one or the other in town and often when I cheerily said: "Hello Mr/Mrs Bernard, how are you?" they would say: Oh do call me Sandra or Bill" but I just couldn't bring myself to do it after 40/50 years of only addressing them as my friends parents as Mr & Mrs Bernard. It seemed so disrespectful when I thought back to only my Mum and Dad addressing them as their christian names.

In the end, whenever I met them, I just said "Helloooo, how are you" as it stopped me from becoming red-faced with embarrassment. It is difficult, isn't it?

It was the same when I worked part-time for a local Care Home for a couple of months between jobs.
I absolutely hated the way staff addressed the residents by their first names. It seemed so disrespectful and patronising. I always addressed them as Mr or Mrs before either they or myself gave or asked permission to address them by their first name. I felt it was the respect and dignity they deserved.