Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Back in the 50’s and the comic’s Christmas annuals, usually the Beano and Dandy were full of plum puddings, they were huge back then, and the ladies who cooked them all had small bottoms, I noticed todays puddings are getting smaller by the year and the ladies bottoms are getting bigger, I wonder are they trying to tell us something indirectly?
There's another thing, why do the call them plum puddings, i never got a plum in any pudding I've eaten, and I've never seen the missus putting any plums into her pudding.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

On reflection Pug, I was thinking over the big bum question again and I came up with an idea, in the clothing stores the makers of these garments already have a little tag on them giving the size, but some ladies may think they will fit into a size smaller,(hence the perpetual question “Does my bum look big in this dear?") when they select a garment the customer is then directed into a little room, inside the private room there are a series of big round holes at waist level cut out of the wall, over each hole is a number, like B1 and B2 and so on, the bum of the client is inserted into the space they think is the closet and most comfortable fit, satisfied with that they then go back and ask the assistant for the same garment in a B4 or whatever, problem solved. I'm sure RJ would have first hand information about fitting rooms.
But be careful ladies, If you are a B52 you could be commandeered by the Air Force to go on a bombing mission.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

RJ looks to either side & says

"Im free"

I'll look in my old diaries for some more
"Confessions of a retired Shopkeeper"
for you Jem

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

It can be to the detriment of the individual, to minimise, the Gluteus Maximus.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

wasn't he an overweight alcoholic in the Roman Army ?

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

No, just a bit of a arsehole.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

now there may be a bit of a misnomer if I saw one - one has two buttocks sometimes called 'the arse' but does it have ' a hole' - ah wait I hear you exclaim if it doesn't nothing will come out ?? right wrong.

even if you look at a resting arse you will never see a hole -what you will see is something resembling a wrinkled up octopus - medically known as the sphincter or sphincter muscle - beyond which is the rectum which in a normally resting state is still not a hole - it is a 'flattened tube'

remember as we strive hard sometimes to void ourselves we are pressing against a very strong muscle as named above to void the full contents of the rectum which once empty flattens again.

so there was I digging this hole - hole in the flaw of an arsehole one can't ignore

anyway may your rectums for ever remain deflated and your sphincters terribly tight!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

All this knowledge is laudable provided it was gained from a text book or classroom, and not form a glass coffee table and a polaroid camera.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

i used to be an upside down ENT man!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

What about Umbilicus Cordius back in the days when the Romans had midhusbands instead of midwives for all the important births, he had the honourable task of delivering the babies sired by the Caesar of the day, although an alcoholic, he successfully delivered over 500 babies in his lifetime without dropping one of them, he also did circumcisions on the side, as you would expect there were some near misses in this operation when he had a skin full of wine, he wasn’t paid for the circumcisions, but he was allowed keep the tips.