02-02-2017, 01:36 PM
21
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Uncle Joe
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Sadly it is not uncommon for weak-willed women to return to abusive, violent partners time and time again. on many occasions, in conjunction with a women's refuge, I have arranged 'safe' temporary places of safety and temporary accomodation away from the abusive man, only to find that within days or at best a week or so the woman has returned to her abusive partner. The only advice I can give to your friend, is stay strong and do NOT give in or let him back in your home!!!
02-02-2017, 01:39 PM
22
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Older git
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It is great when he is sober, he is very attentive. And yes when sober he is charming. But I am slower to forgive. I heard the recording-I`m going to effing kill you big time and Stephan.I despair also
02-02-2017, 01:44 PM
24
Re: I despair
Stephan, I know you are a loyal friend to a couple of ladies, who depend on you, but I think you should be focusing on your own well being. If these ladies want your advice , and you give it, then it is up to them whether they act on it..... but you should do no more than advise.If you friend is associating with a man, who becomes a bully when he drinks, the chances are that he is more likely to attack the object of his jealousy than the woman he is desperate to hang on to.
Her safety is not your responsibility, especially if she ignores your advice, but yours is and I think you should look after yourself.
I would hope the lady thinks that too!
02-02-2017, 01:50 PM
26
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Twink55
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Stephan, I know you are a loyal friend to a couple of ladies, who depend on you, but I think you should be focusing on your own well being. If these ladies want your advice , and you give it, then it is up to them whether they act on it..... but you should do no more than advise.If you friend is associating with a man, who becomes a bully when he drinks, the chances are that he is more likely to attack the object of his jealousy than the woman he is desperate to hang on to.
Her safety is not your responsibility, especially if she ignores your advice, but yours is and I think you should look after yourself.
I would hope the lady thinks that too!
02-02-2017, 01:51 PM
27
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Older git
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More strong willed I fancy. I cannot say for sure but do some women think they can tame the beast?? He only does it when he has been drinking.I`m temped to let him back in. If he drinks again that is it.
Yours or hers??
02-02-2017, 01:55 PM
28
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Older git
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More strong willed I fancy. I cannot say for sure but do some women think they can tame the beast?? He only does it when he has been drinking. I`m temped to let him back in. If he drinks again that is it.
Your friend needs to be aware that this man will strike her if he gets too angry, and depending on how hard he strikes her, he may leave her with more than a few bruises.
Getting rid of a drunken bully will be best for her, you and the police... no matter how nice he is when sober!
02-02-2017, 02:01 PM
29
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Twink55
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I think some women try to be reasonable and hope they can talk them round... but common sense should tell them there is little point trying to talk to a drunken man.Your friend needs to be aware that this man will strike her if he gets too angry, and depending on how hard he strikes her, he may leave her with more than a few bruises.
Getting rid of a drunken bully will be best for her, you and the police... no matter how nice he is when sober!
If she lets him in again she will not lose my friendship but perhaps my respect??
02-02-2017, 02:03 PM
30
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Older git
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But this is where we came in. The recording,the police,the conviction. And yet within a week she is `tempted` to forgive`If she lets him in again she will not lose my friendship but perhaps my respect??
If she does agree to see him again, maybe it could be on her terms only?
On condition that he joins AA for example.
At the moment she holds all the cards.
The moment she lets him in she gives away her strength.
Doesn't she realise this??
There surely must be conditions.
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