Re: Elderly Parent

You're very welcome Cate darlin' - my Care-link service actually provides that option and supplies the elasticated band (which incidentally is adjustable) specifically for the call button.

Re: Elderly Parent

I understand what you are going through Cate, my mum had no-one else but hubby and I and my children.
My brother had died and my sister-in-law and their children were sending begging letters!
She had dementia and from the start, I took her to the bank and made her account joint, so that I could write her cheques, pay her bills, she was very happy with this arrangement.
I think the begging letters were wearing her down.

We arranged with my mum's doctor, for a nurse to call in each day and give medication, we also arranged for a cleaner a couple of times a week, who made toast and tea for the pair of them - it didn't matter too much about the cleaning.
We also arranged for meals on wheels.
All this was for the same reason Cate, to keep mum in her own home, with all the familiar things around her.
She had one of those alarms, that you hang round your neck .. turned out very useful too.
We had a good rapport with the nurse, cleaner and GP.
Eventually mum was too ill and frail to stop at home and went into a hospice..she had cancer too.
It was a relief for us, we were worn out, though hubby was brilliant with her but he wasn't too good himself.

Arfur, I have to have an alarm for my mid-day meds too, I use my mobile, so that if I'm out I don't forget - well to be honest, I rely on it indoors too.

I like the idea of the watch strap too Geoff.

So much good advice and ideas Cate.
It does help and I know you will make the right decision for you both and her.

Re: Elderly Parent

Your experience is very heart warming and makes me feel that we can do this.
Janelathe idea about the cleaner is a good one. MIL has a cleaner once each fortnight maybe we should change that to twice each week. She gets meals delivered but she has to put them in the microwave, I could certainly look into meals on wheels if they still do them in her area.

MIL is very lucky she has many friends in the area who are always popping in and when they know that she is ill they will I know make sure she is looked after.

After the MRI we will look again at what is needed. I must thank you all for giving me so many good wishes and brilliant ideas which will be useful. Thank you to for sharing some of your own experiences when looking after an elderly parent.

I can put the alarm on the mobile into action straight away and also the alarm I shall get that around her wrist ASAP.
I shall look into meals on wheels.

Thank you again. I will add anything I find that might be interesting to you who are also in the same boat.

Re: Elderly Parent

I always worried with the bracelet that she would fall with that arm under her. I used to make it a pendant in the day and bracelet at night. But if you're not on hand, that's not an option.

Re: Elderly Parent

ValiceYou're right we will have to just get her to wear the bracelet because at the moment she hangs it on door handles, puts it by her bed, in fact anywhere she wouldn't be able to reach it if she fell.

Re: Elderly Parent

Re: Elderly Parent

They are supposed to be waterproof too.

There have been 2 instances among my hairdressers clients where the elderly ladies have taken them off to have a bath in the evening, they have both been unable to get out of bath and ended up spending the night there until someone missed them.

Re: Elderly Parent

A couple of other things .. a key safe at the front door, with my mobile number on it, if the nurse or cleaner couldn't get an answer. We could then give them the code to get the key out.
Hubby also fitted a freezer alarm on the front door, so that she didn't leave the front door open!
We had the bath removed and a shower put in, with a seat, much safer.
Another little thing that hubby got for mum, was a day clock..which we put on the wall next to her time clock.
She never knew what day of the week it was and it became quite important to her
The Alzheimer's lady thought it was brilliant and now advises her clients to get one!
It is on my hall wall now - we both use it

Re: Elderly Parent

ValiceYou read my mind I was thinking about whether they were waterproof or not. Thank you. Oh god fancy spending the night in the bath it is a wonder they survived the cold, mum feels the cold dreadfully even on a very warm day she has the heating on.

JanelaI didn't know you could get day clocks, you are right mum rarely knows what day it is that would be great. (for me too) Mum rarely locks her front door during the day as people pop in all the time so an alarm to remind her to make sure the door is locked is a good idea.

Fortunately mum's little bungalow was fitted with a shower and seat which is a thing I think builders have to look at more and more for instance I couldn't get in or out of a bath.

MichaelI understand that what we do now for mum will be with us for ever, if we do right by her there will be no need for guilt and regrets, I also know that we must involve a lot of people otherwise they will feel excluded and rejected.

Re: Elderly Parent

We are still waiting results of MRI scans, biopsies, cystoscopies and blood tests that mil has had. She is getting more and more vague. After a short hospital stay for the above tests the doctor asked for nurses to visit once each day to make sure she was alright and also to assess her.

I spoke to one of the nurses and she thought it would be a good idea for social services to become involved to take mil out to a day centre there she would meet people, be given lunch and would just get out of the house. After a little discussion mil thinks this is a good idea and is quite excited. We decided that there is not enough fun in her life and she needed to go out and find some.

I also told the nurses that we had found some acyclovir antiviral medication in a cupboard that had never been taken, so now the doctor, visiting nurses and friends are aware that mil needs a bit of help and so far everyone has been very helpful. We can only wait for the test results and hope that it is not as bad as we had dreaded.