Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Did you ever get the urge to tell your Maths Teacher to go 4th and Multiply?

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Pug old chap you never cease to amaze with what you know, it’s a comfort to have someone like yourself willing to share your knowledge with such modesty, thank you my friend.

I was listening to an old comedy radio show featuring the famous “Goons”, old stuff but it still made me smile, then I began to think about comedians who could never make me laugh, here are a few of them.
Arthur Askey.
Frankie Howerd.
Brian Rix.
Cannon and Ball.
Maybe it’s just me but how these fellas managed to get paid for what they did is beyond me, chancers the lot of them, but thankfully we are all different and as Bob Monkhouse said “A sense of humour is a funny thing”

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

My Commerce Teacher said to me "Spitty, have you completed your Corporate Structure thesis yet", I said "it's none of your Business".

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I was warned several times that my granddad had a habit of stealing items from roadsides. I refused to believe it until one day I went to speak to him about it. I realised then,it was true-all the signs were there.....

Ok-my words for the day:
Predilection
Perambulations
Parapsychology
Podginess

And finally-a comedian that I always found about as funny as chilblains,is Ken Dodd. Although Norman Vaughan was also as amusing as a Chinese Burn....to moi,anyway.....

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Signs of the times Pug.


Close the doors they're coming through the windows!


I can handle most troubles and I always get by
But what gets on me wick is the household Fly
I sit at the bench working quietly away
Then a constant buzzing noise leads my mind astray
I try to pretend that theres nothing there
And carry on setting the stone with care
Much as I try I can’t concentrate any more
So I get up and open the workshop door
Hoping it will fly out into the fresh air
To give it a chance, it’s only fair
He’s asking for it now, cos he won’t take up the offer
Stupid little insect, now he’s really going to suffer
Out comes the can of concentrated death
Supposed to kill Flies in their very first breath
Down it drops to the left of the bench
Landing just behind a stainless steel wrench
Back to work and no pests around
But what’s that I hear, is it another buzzing sound?
Didn’t I just killed it, that pesky Fly
Seems like the buggers are immortal and never die.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Ah,Jem,my dear chap
what you don't realise;
is that your huge discomfort
Is pure nectar,to flies.

They take it in turns
although there's a whole bunch;
and while you swing at one
the others dump on your lunch!

And then with a chortle
they take to the air;
for they know that damned buzzing
will cause you to flare

And,as ineffectively
you swing rolled-up paper;
the flies are all laughing
as for them it's a caper.

You may even score one
a loud final 'SPLAT!'
as with grim satisfaction
you murmer "Take THAT!"

...but still the flies win
with a fast final lap;
coz they're eating your lunch
...while you're eating their crap...


[Aflred,Lord Tennyson-eat yer heart out,y'LOSER]

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Plenty of blackbirds in the garden today, I fixed up the old Bird table with a new top, the old one was falling to bits.
We have plenty of Birds over here, I'm useless at identifying the different kinds, the coast is not far off but I’m not sure if we have any Puffins on any of the small offshore islands, Puffins are posh Birds I believe.

I have never seen an actual Puffing, but I remember reading about them in Enid Blyting books when I was a lad on holiday in Londing, I used to travel over every year from Dubling, actually that was about the same time Elizabeth Taylor got married to Richard Burting, she wore a long white dress and he a double breasted suit with two buttings on the jacket, the wedding breakfast included prime Scottish Mutting and domed butting mushrooms, Johnny Rotting played as a guest artist, no comming people were allowed near the hotel.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Is this Pidging Inglish, if so, you deal with the Birdshite.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

That was a great Fly poem Pug, best I’ve heard and I’m being serious, deserves to be up there with the best of them, Tennyson was only a merchant banker anyway, never made me laugh, he took life too seriously poor soul.

That’s the way the posh ladies from Dublin 4 speak Spitty, their daughters and sons get “Morried” and they have the coal delivered in Sex, I’m just a peasant and get a kick outa slagging them off, that's allowed.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

A geezer knocked on my door this morning, when I answered he said, are you aware that one of your Ridge Tiles has moved, I can fix it for you, I said Ok, how much will that cost, he said £100.00, I said to him "I think you are having a Lath".