Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

It's a mood thingy Gummy. to appreciate this monologue you have to be somewhere atmospheric and in appreciative company.

I first heard it squatted on the pavement outside a crowded restaurant with friends all tiddly on the seafront at Deauville France in the 1970s.
Following a overdramatized version by Ken Russell (NB my dear late mother was a lifelong friend of KEn) so much was added to reflect other users of the public loos in Soho that it lost some of its impact.
I mean to say, how credible was it bringing on to the list of visitors to this emporium of micturition the Dagenham girls choir, a fire eater. jugglers a contortionist, a belly dancer, I could go on

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I was surprised to have successfully introduced an uncommon expression to the milieu recently. I refer to "Touching Cloth" which can induce panic, inconvenience (or incontinence)
Nothing to do with scatology as may have been presumed, rather relating to a current buzzword i.e. CUSP or even APOGEE.
Aren't words wonderful

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Words are indeed wonderful RJ, and here's another new one.

We have Decibels for the measure of sound, but do you know what we use to measure smells?
The ‘Stonkibert’ is a unit of smell, the Stonkibert is the yardstick used by the perfume trade as the official measure of smell strength, a scale of 1-10, incidentally 10 Stonkiberts would prove fatal. an good example is ammonia which smells in at 7 Stonkiberts.
I’m telling you all this because last night I made a discovery, did you know that you cannot smell anything in a dream?
In my dream I was asked to be a judge in a perfume testing session, twenty tiny bottles were placed in front of me, all labeled A-T and my job was to Sronkibert them 1-6. I went through the twenty bottles one after the other and found I couldn’t smell a thing! not a fraction of a Stonkibert registered in my nostrils. The strange thing was all the other judges were doing fine smelling away and jotting down their opinions.
So there you have it, that’s two things I have discovered about dreaming, one, you cannot see your own face in a dream, and two, you cannot smell anything in a dream.
Next time I’ll be going for the hat trick and find out if I can taste anything in a dream.(anyone know what the unit of measurement is for taste?)
A smell can wake one out of a dream, thank God for that, many lives have been saved when sleepers smelled smoke and people were able to move out of a building on fire.

Footnote: One should always carry a pocket Stonkimeter when visiting toilets in strange pubs, before one enters extend the Stonkimerere to arms length and if it hits 5 retreat and try again later, 3 Stonkiberts is the normal for mens toilets.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

oh FGS Jem you'll have us all lookin like these new coppers on the beat weighed down with guns; batons; breathalyzers; stun guns; tazers etc etc -no wonder they are all walkin about bow-legged - how many bloody meters can ya carry in one day - apart from lovely meter meter maid I can't be doin with it all

watch out now you've probably awoken Pugsie the greatest meter test around these parts!!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I think I'll come back later.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I forgot to say.
This old man he plays one
Give the dog a bone

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

That's a grand bone for making stew Sweetie.

I backed two horses today purely by name ‘Sweet as candy’ won @4/1 and ‘Captain Pugwash’ won @7/1.
I’m the last of the big spenders and had 2 Euros on each of them resulting in 22 Euros profit.
I often do that if the horse's name strikes a chord with me, so that’s Sweetie and Pug off the list.
I’ll have me eye out now for a Spitting Gummy horse eating a fruitcake with a gem in his ear and called Robert, running somewhere tomorrow I hope.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Pugsy is a polymath
Not as thought, a psychopath

Spitty is so incredibly smart
But spoils it all by constant farts

Gummy boy lives out in the outback
He’s very good with folks & all that

Fruity is a new acquaintance
And looks to be low maintenance

That leaves our JEM who can do no wrong
Admired by men and adored by wimmen

You may have noticed I omitted the girls
Though they’re not just make up, curls


Thanks are due to our near silent followers
Who regularly read our rantings
Without their support
We wouldn’t be such well thought
So I take off my hat
I don’t often do that

The end

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Well done Robert J