08-06-2017, 07:55 AM
11
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
The word cancer instils fear and panic into all of us.I was diagnosed 4 1/2 years ago, and still here but naturally living in fear after 4 lots of chemo in the 4 years that i may not have long left.
Please use Mc Millan, they are wonderful and offer telephone support and advice to all, they don't rush or hurry you and are an absolute mine of information for available resources and emotionally extremely supportive
08-06-2017, 08:48 AM
12
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
Both my parents died from cancer within 6 months of each other,and in top of that my wife had a threatened miscarriage. So i know what you are going through ,and it is hell on earth. First thing is getting depression and boy did I have that in spades to the extent of thinking of walking down a main road wanting to be hit by a vehicle.What stopped me? the thought of what I would be putting others in the family through and my other son.
How did Ii get over it? good question . I was in torment day after day for weeks and no one to turn to and trying to keep down my job at the same time. So it was work during the day and visiting the hospice and 2 other hospitals afterwards.
If there was a bad time in my life it was then. You just have to cope as best you can day by day and get through it. Or that is what I did as I didn't know who to turn to for support.
08-06-2017, 11:20 AM
13
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
Originally Posted by aliveandsmiling
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The word cancer instils fear and panic into all of us.I was diagnosed 4 1/2 years ago, and still here but naturally living in fear after 4 lots of chemo in the 4 years that i may not have long left.
Please use Mc Millan, they are wonderful and offer telephone support and advice to all, they don't rush or hurry you and are an absolute mine of information for available resources and emotionally extremely supportive
08-06-2017, 02:51 PM
14
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
Originally Posted by Twink55
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I know what you mean I have been through it myself, but we should take hope from the fact that almost half the people diagnosed now survive. At my checkups with the outpatients clinic, there were always lots of people, so I said to the doctor that it must make her life a nightmare with so many new cancer patients. She told me that it made her happy because the massive number of patients, in the check up clinics, were all there because they were surviving. Cancer used to be a definite death sentence, but it no longer is and, one day, they hope they can cure all of them
My DNA is with researchers due to the high amount of related cancer on my mothers side, maybe too late for me but hopefully in time to protect and save my daughters and other mum's, daughters and everyone!
08-06-2017, 02:59 PM
15
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
Originally Posted by aliveandsmiling
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Wouldn't that be wonderful?My DNA is with researchers due to the high amount of related cancer on my mothers side, maybe too late for me but hopefully in time to protect and save my daughters and other mum's, daughters and everyone!
My school friend has further tumors, since her first one, but I encouraged her to have further Chemo that has shrunk them, so I am hoping she still has a chance. She tells me I am the only person that understands her, so she phones me every week. If you ever want to talk feel free to send me a PM and I will reply.
13-06-2017, 05:50 AM
16
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
Dad looked much better yesterday.I managed to spend the weekend at home but am back with Mum after sister in law called the Police. Scared Mum no end having two PCs ringing the bell, still dont know why they were called. I have told my brother she must never call me again!
Dad had biopsy on Friday but treatment plan wont be decidd for 3 weeks.
looks like he can home by Friday.
Thank you everyone for your support.
09-07-2017, 05:27 AM
17
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
My father came home from hospital on 16 June.He took to his bed and even standing to use the phone was too much.
I kicked off at his doctor three times and they came out three times.
Last Sunday a neighbour called the doctor and with 2 paramedics spent two hours with him.
He was finally admitted to hospital on Tuesday. I went to visit with him on Wednesday and it was so shocking how much he had deteriorated in just a few days.
He opened an eye saw me looking at him, them closed it again.
I did manage to get him two doses of morphine that day and got him moved to a single room on the ward for his last 8 hours.
He died at 9.45pm
My brother took over the heavy lifting in the final week and has been a great comfort to me and Mum who has accepted Dad's death really well so far.
As for me, I just cant stop crying, getting by on 2 or 3 hours sleep unless whisky induced. I even needed medical help myself on Friday, a mix of extreme fatigue, stress and heat stroke.
So thank you everyone, my father died in just 5 weeks and I know he is no longer in pain or suffering for which I am grateful, but , my loss is unbearable.
09-07-2017, 06:21 AM
18
Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
Elbee, the grieving process is very painful, but you will get through it and come to terms with your loss. Always remember that your dad was probably in pain, but now no longer suffers. You will always miss him, but try to think of the wonderful times you have spent with him. We will all have to go one day and I don't know where we go, but try to believe that you may have chance to see him again.... on the other side.
As for mum, I would see how she manages and get your other siblings to pop in and do some of the checking on her. It may be a good idea to ask her doctor if there are any services where somebody could pop round and check that she is ok.
Just make sure you also look after yourself.
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