Two Truths and Five Rules in Life.

The following Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life seem to be fairly valid...



SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats."
But, none of them comes up to the man - touch his penis and say, "Good job"
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:


1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk.



AND My "Favorite"..From 78 Years of Life:

5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



BONUS RULE:

Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when
he was shot & killed by the woman's husband.

Re: Two Truths and Five Rules in Life.

Ha ha luv it thanks,. also -

Where there,s a will, I want to be in it .

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

They begin the evening news with "Good Evening ", then proceed to tell you why it isn't .

Behind every successful man is his woman, behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

I guess nostalgia isn't what it used to be ...eh !