Join for free
Page 5 of 132 « First < 3 4 5 6 7 15 55 105 > Last »
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
08-04-2017, 10:46 PM
41

Re: Jokes for blokes

When Pope John Paul II got to heaven, St Peter told him he was lucky to be there.

John Paul asked, "Why? What did I do wrong on earth?"

"God was angry with your refusal to admit female priests," said St Peter.

"You mean he's mad about that?" the late Pope asked.

St Peter replied, "She's absolutely furious."
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
11-04-2017, 11:02 AM
42

Re: Jokes for blokes

Hitler walks into the meeting room and turns to his trusted staff. "I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten."

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up, "Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, "You see, no-one cares about the Jews."
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
11-04-2017, 11:11 AM
43

Re: Jokes for blokes

A lawyer was going home in his limo, when he saw two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass. He tapped the glass and told his chauffeur to pull over and investigate.

The chauffeur went across to the two men and asked them why they were eating grass. The men replied that they had no money and must eat grass.

The chauffeur went back to the car and told the lawyer. The lawyer, deeply moved, invited the men back to his house, where he would feed them.

One of the men very timidly said, "I have a wife and three children." The second man spoke up and said, "I have a wife and six children."

The lawyer, filled with compassion, told them to bring their families along.
Both families squeezed into the car and they set off for the lawyer's house.

One of the men was overcome with gratitude and took the lawyer's hand, "Sir, you are too kind and generous, and we are not able to replay you. Thank you for your kindness."

"Do not worry about it, it's fine and there's plenty for everyone," replied the lawyer. "You'll love my house - the grass is about two feet high."
Rehab44
Chatterbox
Rehab44 is offline
Nil
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,394
Rehab44 is male  Rehab44 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
11-04-2017, 01:06 PM
44

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by JBR ->
Hitler walks into the meeting room and turns to his trusted staff. "I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten."

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up, "Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, "You see, no-one cares about the Jews."
Wasn't that the same joke that was used at the Labour Party Conference by Jezza?
Tpin's Avatar
Tpin
Chatterbox
Tpin is offline
UK
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 16,130
Tpin is male  Tpin has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
11-04-2017, 01:23 PM
45

Re: Jokes for blokes

An irish gay couple....Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael.
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
12-04-2017, 11:08 AM
46

Re: Jokes for blokes

Sergeant to troops:

"Today, the officer is going to give you a lecture on Keats.

And I bet that none of you boneheads knows what a Keat is!"
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
13-04-2017, 01:49 PM
47

Re: Jokes for blokes

An old married couple were on holiday in Morocco. They went touring around the souk looking at the goods, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside, they heard a gentleman with a Moroccan accent say, "You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

So the married couple walked in. The shopkeeper said to them, "I have some special magical sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert stallion camel."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the stallion that he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex demon?"

The shopkeeper replied, "Why don't you try them on and see for yourself?"

After much badgering from his wife, the husband finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them on to his feet, he got a wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years. Her husband was full of raw sexual power.

In the blink of an eye, the husband rushed at the Moroccan man, threw him on a table and started tearing at the guy's trousers. All the time, the shopkeeper was frantically screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET! YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!"
Pie Man
Member
Pie Man is offline
W.Yorkshire
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 27
Pie Man is male  Pie Man has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
13-04-2017, 05:58 PM
48

Re: Jokes for blokes

I once asked my ex wife "Have you ever orgasmed during sex?"
"Of course" she said "Lots of times"
"Well why haven't you let me know at the time?" I asked her
"You told me not to ring you at work unless it was an emergency" she replied.
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-04-2017, 06:00 PM
49

Re: Jokes for blokes

Tom arrives at an hotel in a Scottish village on a cold, grey, drizzly day.

The weather remains the same for two weeks. Exasperated, Tom stops a little boy in the street. "Does this weather here ever change?" he asks.

"I don't know," replies the little boy. "I'm only six."
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 32,785
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-04-2017, 08:02 PM
50

Re: Jokes for blokes

What is long, hard and stiff, is used inside a warm, wet place and gets moved back and forth for the best effect? A toothbrush.
 
Page 5 of 132 « First < 3 4 5 6 7 15 55 105 > Last »

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.