Re: JEALOUSY within the family
Originally Posted by
Advantage Out
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What perplexes me is how he can be such a mother's boy, demanding her attention every second yet he's so unruly towards her ….... except when the situation has to do with the 3 of us. Then he's all on mum's side (as though there's friction between us, which there isn't), openly favouring her against me.
I understand nothing.
I don't think that's so difficult to understand. Children are in many ways like young animals - they suss out very quickly who will serve their needs best and who they can manipulate to have their needs and wants satisfied. For instance - our dog is more spoilt by my partner than by me ...and guess who he hovers next to whenever food is around!
Your son has quickly figured out that his mother gives in to all his desires, yet he probably knows deep down that this is not really as it should be (he must note the difference with you, teachers and other children's parents) so what does a young animal do in those circumstances....it demands more and more attention yet knowing it's being naughty in doing so but unable to stop the behaviour. In a human with rather more intelligence, this causes a conflict within that person which may well display itself as "unruly" behaviour. A psychologist might say that he was 'punishing' her for not being the type of parent he really needs and wants. And when you're all together he's "punishing" you too because he's too young to know what else to do to appease the conflict within himself.
I hope you don't think this is too complex an explanation but I think there is some truths in it.