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24-09-2015, 07:08 PM
11

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Surprising the things that jumble around in our brain. I remembered this little warthog poem

So we all know that when you have that itch, that annoying little tickle,
That makes you squirm, that makes you wriggle,
That sensation that you just can’t stand, that makes your day seem dull and bland.
It sometimes starts in your toes, it sometimes starts on your nose,
But what do you do, when it’s a place you can’t get to?
You do what any sensible warthog would do…
You find the nearest stump, to scratch that voluptuous rump,
Remembering to ease in to it, so that you don’t overdo it.
Then there are those warthogs that seek the ultimate high, when they manage to scratch that itch on their inner thigh.
So next time you have a wiggle in your bum, don’t be glum,
Find a chum and have some fun.



***This warthog poem was created by the Zululand Rhino Reserve (South Africa) wildlife monitors Zoë Luhdo, Michelle Swemmer and conservation volunteer Ann Bennet. The idea came to them after they found this amusing series of photographs that was captured by the reserve’s camera traps.
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24-09-2015, 07:55 PM
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Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Well I’ll be darned! as our American cousins used to say, who would think there could be a poem about a Warthog? and a smashin’ one too, thanks for posting that little jewel Solo.
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24-09-2015, 10:32 PM
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Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

and in the same theme:

mud, mud glorious mud
nothing quite like it for cooling the blood
so follow me follow down to the hollw
and there we will wallow in glorious mud!
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25-09-2015, 09:23 AM
14

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Not forgot Ollie

Apparently, many years ago there was one of these traveling exhibitions of strange and curious items. Amongst them were two human skulls, large and small, supposedly belonging to Oliver Cromwell. When asked by someone how there could be TWO skulls, the showman replied, "The small one? That's his skull when he was a boy!".
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25-09-2015, 11:13 AM
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Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

I like that one solo.
My favourite ‘Ollie’ is buried over here in county Cork, Oliver Reed, what a character, a real man if ever there was one, God be good to him.
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25-09-2015, 12:12 PM
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Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

We had a lot of refugees come here over the years, the boat people from Vietnam and many fleeing the Hungarian revolution, and as time moved along they, just like the Normans, became more Irish than the Irish themselves, even as far back as the late 1700’s we had some refugees from the far east, quite a few Chinese. God forgive me but I still think it’s comical to hear a Chinese person talking with a Dublin accent.
I came across this little piece in Mars Barr’s great great grandfather’s diary. He used to have one of the most hated jobs in the country at that time, a senior rent collector for an absentee landlord. Note I’ve spelt ’Strabane’ the traditional way and as the way it’s pronounced ’Straban’

The grey brick house cast it’s shadow across the narrow road
Blacking some cobblestones in it’s shade as in through the gate I rode
No light came from the hall, I waited but no answer to my knock
Then a noise and a light on the stairs gave me a sudden shock
Door opens and what stood before me was a tower of a man
Desperate Dan McHugh the terror of Straban.

For over two years he hadn’t paid up the rent
Every time we sent someone to collect it he always said it was spent
All of our efforts were in vain and came to no use
With his shouting and swearing we got nothing but abuse
So they sent me to try and do whatever I can
But nothing could prepare me for the terror of Straban.

He grabbed me by the collar and pulled me inside the door
Kicked me in the town halls and I crumbled to the floor
He took a blackthorn from the stand and hit me on the head
Clamped me by the arms and legs and threw me on the bed
I’ll never forget the hiding I got that day, it wasn’t in my plan
I hope to Jaysus I never meet again, the terror of Straban. (Mars Barr)
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25-09-2015, 04:45 PM
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Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Ahhh,y'see,when faced with superior muscle and/or bulk,one should employ the 'Flying Mongolian Chuff-Lock';a hold which has brought untold numbers of huge be-muscled fighting men to order,as they beg for release from the indescribable agony of being bested by a move known and perfected only by really angry nuns and a few favoured followers of Saint Squishem.
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25-09-2015, 10:52 PM
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Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Originally Posted by Pug ->
Ahhh,y'see,when faced with superior muscle and/or bulk,one should employ the 'Flying Mongolian Chuff-Lock';a hold which has brought untold numbers of huge be-muscled fighting men to order,as they beg for release from the indescribable agony of being bested by a move known and perfected only by really angry nuns and a few favoured followers of Saint Squishem.
Believe it or not Pug but I felt the wrath of angry nuns at infant school, hell hath no fury like an angry nun with a leather strap.
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26-09-2015, 10:38 AM
19

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

No lether strap fur me coz I wuz a gud kid in skule.
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26-09-2015, 01:18 PM
20

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Only the boys got walloped Solo, because they were not made from sugar and spice and all things nice.


You mentioned canonise in another thread Gumbud.

The Girl with the Cannon Eyes (or Gumbuds first bird)

She was an exceptional beauty, more than you could realise
Everything was perfect about her bar her cannon eyes
He took her to the pictures and for long country walks
She was very keen on nature, and her eyes stuck out on stalks
She spoke good English with a slight Australian twang
And when she looked at Gumbud his heart let out a bang
She was a model, always ready to do some shooting
Posing came natural to her as she was born in Tooting
She was well paid for her work, in fact she was loaded
Until she had a row with Gumbud and the whole romance exploded.
 
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