Partners

After losing a partner I wonder if its easier for one person to come to terms with it than another, as some people never seem to accept their loss while others just get on with life best they can. It is 20 years since my hubby of 40 yours died and I have forged a new life for myself,not to say I have forgotten him.My neighbour lost his wife 67 months ago ,after 64 years , and says its not getting any easier

Re: Partners

It could be harder for some if they didn't have separate interest ,and they depended on each other ..

Re: Partners

I think you have to go out and meet friends when someone has a loss as it's pitiful to see people fretting.
My neighbour has just lost her husband and she looks completely numb, although she has two son's and a daughter and families who call and phone her daily she still has that lost look about her.. I think they doted on one another and alway's stayed together, and never really went out much. It's a sad thing for a close one to die..

Re: Partners

My granddad pined to death after my nan died, besotted with each other to the end they were. I have a funny feeling I may be like that if Steven goes first, I think he may cope better than me if I went first.

Re: Partners

Not sure how I'd be to be truthful but I have a good family and part time work also outside interests and several hobbies so I'd manage but it would be very different, of course.
My neighbour lost his wife of 40 years in March and he seems to be getting on with life but you never know how someone really feels - take one day at a time, I expect is the way to go.

Re: Partners

It's so very hard to know how you would feel exactly isn't it though? Who would cope better? My husband & I have separate interests but are best friends as well. I have a feeling though I do not want to be the one left. Ohhhh noooo better go find him now....I'm getting upset thinking about it!

Re: Partners

I have a lady friend, she is nice, but I made it clear, I cannot take on a young daughter(13 going on 14) What is love?? I know neither me nor Jenny were virgins when we met-some thing went-oh yes.

23/10/2010

She went away.

Re: Partners

I still find my reaction to my husband's death strange.
I/we accepted it.
He was not ill for very long.
It was not a shock.
We always assumed he would succumb to cancer or something related to smoking, so maybe that played a part ...

Initially, we shared his illness with his closest friend only, because we didn't want any fuss or negative people around us and I managed to take the situation day by day, which is unlike my normal reaction to things.
Looking back, I'd say that something took over and I just got on with whatever was thrown at me.

Since his passing, I have lost my mother, both my uncles, our 2 cats and our 2 fish. Family wiped out !
Life is OK ...

Re: Partners

Looking at the future realistically I may outlive my husband. Then again with the history of cardiac issues on my female side of the family I may go first. I would prefer to be first. He's always been stronger than me, more together with the practical and what needs to be done.

If I lose him first...I can't even imagine or plan at this point. The house was never settled after the in-laws passed. It would probably be condemned in any case and the taxes are ridiculous. So I would be homeless and solely supporting my daughter and me. Just shoot me now...

My Dad on the other hand is a different story. He saved for retirement and has a decent pension. When my Mum died he was lost for a few years. Then he met his present partner and became like a young man again. They've traveled and been together maybe twenty five years. So sometimes there are indeed fairy tale endings after widowhood.