02-04-2018, 07:12 PM
681
Re: Jokes for blokes
A man joined the army, and signed up for the paras, after completing a series of jumps from ever higher structures he was ready for his first jump from an aeroplane, the next day he called home to tell his father all about it, “so did you jump.” asked his father, “ well let me tell you what happened” replied the man, “ the sergeant asked for volunteers about a dozen men got up and jumped” “is that when you jumped.” asked his dad, “ erm, not quite” replied the young soldier “ the sergeant then grabbed the men one by one and started to throw each one off” the father asked again, “ is that when you jumped” “ I’m getting to that”, replied the para, “as I was the last man I told the sergeant I was too scared to jump, but he tried to throw me off anyway, but I managed to hang on to the door, he said if I didn’t jump he would kick my ass” , “ so you jumped then, right?”said the father, “ well, no,” said the soldier, “ he called the jump master over,” replied the para, the jump master was about six feet five and about eighteen stone of solid muscle,” “ the jump master asked if I was gonna jump but I told him I was too scared” the jump master pulled down his trousers and took out his penis, I swear dad it was about ten inches long, the jump master said, “ listen boy, if you don’t jump I’m gonna stick this little baby right up your ass”“ so did you jump” asked the dad, “well, a little.....at first.” replied the para
03-04-2018, 10:44 AM
682
Re: Jokes for blokes
Originally Posted by Judd
->
A girl visits her doctor and tells him she has a terrible discharge."Okay, take your knickers off spread your legs and lets check it out" he says.
She drops her knickers opens her legs and he has a good feel around.
He says "how does that feel?"
She says "Wonderful, but the discharge is from my ear".
03-04-2018, 10:45 AM
683
Re: Jokes for blokes
Originally Posted by Primus1
->
A man joined the army, and signed up for the paras, after completing a series of jumps from ever higher structures he was ready for his first jump from an aeroplane, the next day he called home to tell his father all about it, “so did you jump.” asked his father, “ well let me tell you what happened” replied the man, “ the sergeant asked for volunteers about a dozen men got up and jumped” “is that when you jumped.” asked his dad, “ erm, not quite” replied the young soldier “ the sergeant then grabbed the men one by one and started to throw each one off” the father asked again, “ is that when you jumped” “ I’m getting to that”, replied the para, “as I was the last man I told the sergeant I was too scared to jump, but he tried to throw me off anyway, but I managed to hang on to the door, he said if I didn’t jump he would kick my ass” , “ so you jumped then, right?”said the father, “ well, no,” said the soldier, “ he called the jump master over,” replied the para, the jump master was about six feet five and about eighteen stone of solid muscle,” “ the jump master asked if I was gonna jump but I told him I was too scared” the jump master pulled down his trousers and took out his penis, I swear dad it was about ten inches long, the jump master said, “ listen boy, if you don’t jump I’m gonna stick this little baby right up your ass” “ so did you jump” asked the dad, “well, a little.....at first.” replied the para
05-04-2018, 10:18 PM
684
Re: Jokes for blokes
Bruce is relaxing in his garden, sat in the shade sipping an ice cold beer,listening to the radio , his wife is struggling with a manual mower trying to cut the grass, she’s red in the face and sweating profusely, Bruce’s neighbor sees her and shouts over to Bruce, “ you pathetic excuse for a man, you should be bloody well hung”“I am” replies Bruce, “ that’s why she’s cutting the grass”.
08-04-2018, 06:18 PM
686
Re: Jokes for blokes
Originally Posted by Primus1
->
Bruce is relaxing in his garden, sat in the shade sipping an ice cold beer,listening to the radio , his wife is struggling with a manual mower trying to cut the grass, she’s red in the face and sweating profusely, Bruce’s neighbor sees her and shouts over to Bruce, “ you pathetic excuse for a man, you should be bloody well hung”“I am” replies Bruce, “ that’s why she’s cutting the grass”.
09-04-2018, 08:53 PM
689
Re: Jokes for blokes
A chef called Jervais was asked to prepare a wild green hairy lipped squid for a discerning customer.When it came to the chopping board he couldn't kill it.
The dish washer, a German student called Hans, saw an opportunity to move from washing up to cooking and said he'd kill it, again when it came to the chopping board he couldn't kill it.
Which goes to show that: Hans that does dishes is as soft as Jervais with the wild green hairy lipped squid.
09-04-2018, 09:58 PM
690
Re: Jokes for blokes
Originally Posted by jbr
->
a chef called jervais was asked to prepare a wild green hairy lipped squid for a discerning customer.When it came to the chopping board he couldn't kill it.
The dish washer, a german student called hans, saw an opportunity to move from washing up to cooking and said he'd kill it, again when it came to the chopping board he couldn't kill it.
Which goes to show that: Hans that does dishes is as soft as jervais with the wild green hairy lipped squid.
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