Join for free
longfellow's Avatar
longfellow
Chatterbox
longfellow is offline
Penthouse in Essex overlooking the Thames.
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 7,642
longfellow is male  longfellow has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
20-11-2017, 10:38 AM
1

Yer Ducks Dead.

Oh I know its an old one but I like the way it was written and it still made me chuckle.
.............


A good story! For anybody who's had some tests at the doctor's office lately....

Yer Ducks is Dead--

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest..

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.

The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.. "£350!" she cried, "£350 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £100 but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £350."
Mr Magoo's Avatar
Mr Magoo
Senior Member
Mr Magoo is offline
London
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,400
Mr Magoo is male  Mr Magoo has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
20-11-2017, 10:49 AM
2

Re: Yer Ducks Dead.

Very neat punch line.
 

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.