Re: would you support a friend like this ?

Some men seem to have a great hold over some women. It's like the woman is obsessed with the man and they just can't let go.
I bet if he had murdered someone, she would still have stuck by him.
Maybe, one day she will see the light, let go and walk away from him?
I think for now Susan, you need to keep a low profile and just be there for your friend. I hate to say it, if she had to choose between you or him.... l think he would win every time.
Some women are fools and always seem to like the most unsuitable of men!

Re: would you support a friend like this ?

Thanks everyone , some interesting thoughts coming my way .

I think I will take a step back and have less contact , he'll be out in a few weeks or even days . I will watch from a distance whats happening and follow my feelings . Until it happens I can't say the outcome .

Throughout the 5 years of her supporting him while inside her son and daughter and me always hoped she would have a wake up call and walk away , now it's imminent I guess none of us will know the future .

Deep stuff eh ! ..

Such is life I guess , why is it nothing surprises me about people anymore

Re: would you support a friend like this ?

What a living nightmare for the family, not to mention the extended family, susan.
You translate in your mind to your own family, think of your own husband and your own niece(s), and that really brings it home what they must all be feeling.
I wonder how many people on both sides of the family, her side and her husband's side, have decided to blank him, or whether they're biding their time.
Was it his niece or her niece?

I think...Keep a low profile and watch from a distance for a while would be my feelings. Maybe wait until she contacts you first? You could always lay down some firm ground rules about meeting on neutral ground and not mentioning him etc. but you know that expression about the elephant in the room?

Re: would you support a friend like this ?

Ruthio it was his neice , it happened before he met V and was living with the family . V met him when neice was 8 yrs old , he stopped doing it when he and V got together .

I thought I was a good judge of character , who would ever have thought that who appeared to be a decent bloke would have lived such a lie , certainly none of us

Re: would you support a friend like this ?

So he has lives a blameless life since he met your friend .
She loves him and it's her life .
Your disapproval will only in the end alienate her anyway.
If you can't accept her as a friend unless it's on your terms there is no question to be answered that's it over done with finished .