10-06-2017, 06:09 PM
164
Re: Jokes for blokes
A doctor begins having an affair with a much younger woman. Before too long she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. They won't consider abortion and don't want to give the baby up for adoption. The doctor's not going to leave his wife and the young woman can't stand the thought of taking care of the child alone.Several months later, just about the time she's about to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland operation. The doctor says to his mistress, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks the doctor.
"It's worth a try," he says.
So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation, he goes to the priest and says, "Father, you won't believe this."
"What?" says the priest. "What happened?"
"You gave birth to a child."
"But that's impossible!"
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About 15 years go by, and the priest realises that he must tell his son the truth.
One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" the son says.
The priest replies, "I'm your mother. The archbishop is your father."
10-06-2017, 10:03 PM
166
Re: Jokes for blokes
A couple married thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a farm with a tall fence running along the road. The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here thirty years ago." The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and they made love like never before. Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like That thirty years ago, or any time since that I can remember!" The woman says, "thirty years ago that fence wasn't electrified!"10-06-2017, 10:51 PM
167
Re: Jokes for blokes
Originally Posted by Judd
->
A couple married thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a farm with a tall fence running along the road. The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here thirty years ago." The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and they made love like never before. Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like That thirty years ago, or any time since that I can remember!" The woman says, "thirty years ago that fence wasn't electrified!"
11-06-2017, 12:16 PM
168
Re: Jokes for blokes
One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town."I'm looking for the meanest, toughest and roughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.
"Well, we got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."
The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers.
He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest, toughest and roughest whore in the Yukon!"
The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.
"How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.
"I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."
11-06-2017, 02:58 PM
169
Re: Jokes for blokes
Three Afro-Caribbean ladies were talking about pet names for their other halves.The first said "I call my husband Big Dick, 'cos he's got a big dick."
The second said "I call my husband Long John, 'cos he's got a long john."
The third said "I call my husband Corvoisier!"
The first asked "Why, isn't that one of those fancy licquers"
Third - "Yeeeeeah!"
11-06-2017, 03:03 PM
170
Re: Jokes for blokes
A woman had been eyeing up a body builder she'd been watching at the gym. So she went over to him and asked "so, come on then, how big's your chest?"He replied "72 inches, all the way round"
"Wow, so" she asked "what about your biceps?"
"26 inches" was the reply.
"Come on then" she said, "how big's your dick?
"2 inches"
She giggled slightly aghast, saying "you do all that working out for hours a day, and all you've got is 2 inches?"
"Yeah, but that's from the floor"
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