12-06-2018, 11:38 AM
7383
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Many years ago in the old Phoenix Park racecourse (gone now and houses built on the site) they held a special charity race called “The Fish Stakes” It featured real jockeys with fishy names, Christy Roach, Tom Pike, Ray Sharkey, Frank Codd, Peter Whaley, Richard Rudd, and a few more I can’t remember. The paddock was renamed the haddock for the day, fish steaks were on offer in the restrauant and the winner received 500 squid, all in good fun.The horse I backed got battered.
Owners do give their horses some funny names, it’s all in fun but sometimes it’s a mischievous attempt to get by the very strict rules on horse naming by the jockey club, for example, no swear or vulgar words, and no more than 18 letters in the name, no brackets or question marks, etc.I think others do it to see how the commentators handle pronouncing the names.
There is a horse I always put a bob or two on when he runs, I believe it’s owned by a Frank something who hires out skips, he very cleverly calls it “Sandfrankskipsgo” It has won several times.
Pug mentioned the bold horse “Hoof hearted” there was another around at the same time as Hoof hearted called “Ice Melted”
12-06-2018, 12:04 PM
7384
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
1. A horse walks into a bar. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can’t make him drink.2. I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did! Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30.
3. A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: “Why the long face?”
4. I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.
5. A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman. “Yes please,” says the horse.
6. What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Sherbet.
7. Have you heard the one about the runaway horse? It’s a terrible tale of WHOA!
8. Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horsepital.
9. What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.
10. Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey? In case he takes offence.
11. What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours.
12. A pony went to the doctor complaining about having a sore throat. The doctor said: “It’s OK, you’re just a little horse.”
13. Some racehorses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won eight of them!”
Another horse breaks in: “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!”
“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another.
At this point, the horses notice a greyhound, who has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”
The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog!”
14. How do you spell ‘Hungry Horse’ in four letters? MTGG.
15. A jockey is walking down the road leading a racehorse when he bumps into a friend. “What are you planning to do with that nag?” the man asks. “Race it,” replies the jockey, surprised. “Well, by the look of it,” the man says, “You’ll win!”
12-06-2018, 01:45 PM
7385
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Some good horsey laughs there Sweetie, thank you.
Talking about long faces, what about long hands? I have seen many hands, necks, and ears in the course of my work. A good point to note when designing a ring for a lady is the length of her hands and in the case of pendants the length and width of her neck, for earrings you take the size of the ears into consideration, if one has a long face one should avoid drop earrings at all costs.
To my mind nothing looks as bad as a stubby ring on short fat hands, if one has long hands this type of ring would be far more suitable for them, short hands should wear a long headed ring reaching slightly down the finger to make the hand appear slender, for example a long oval or pear shape if an engagement ring if one is going to be wearing it every day, it should not be too high either or one will have difficulty getting a glove on and off. One might do well to remember these little things, Sometimes it makes me cringe to see clueless royalty and celebrities selecting completely unsuitable expensive jewellery, have they no one to advise them?
What is it with celebrity women’s hands that they go so wrinkly? it certainly ain’t from housework, is it spending too much time lying about in the sun?
And there endith the lesson for today, go your way in peace brothers and sisters. We will sign off with the late Max Bygraves singing “You Need Hands”
One is off now for one’s humble pint, see you all later.
12-06-2018, 03:30 PM
7386
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by Jem
->
Some good horsey laughs there Sweetie, thank you.Talking about long faces, what about long hands? I have seen many hands, necks, and ears in the course of my work. A good point to note when designing a ring for a lady is the length of her hands and in the case of pendants the length and width of her neck, for earrings you take the size of the ears into consideration, if one has a long face one should avoid drop earrings at all costs.
To my mind nothing looks as bad as a stubby ring on short fat hands, if one has long hands this type of ring would be far more suitable for them, short hands should wear a long headed ring reaching slightly down the finger to make the hand appear slender, for example a long oval or pear shape if an engagement ring if one is going to be wearing it every day, it should not be too high either or one will have difficulty getting a glove on and off. One might do well to remember these little things, Sometimes it makes me cringe to see clueless royalty and celebrities selecting completely unsuitable expensive jewellery, have they no one to advise them?
What is it with celebrity women’s hands that they go so wrinkly? it certainly ain’t from housework, is it spending too much time lying about in the sun?
And there endith the lesson for today, go your way in peace brothers and sisters. We will sign off with the late Max Bygraves singing “You Need Hands”
One is off now for one’s humble pint, see you all later.
remember less words and more Utubes - a picture tells a thousand tales?? and if ya kenny find a Utube any old tub will do??
12-06-2018, 05:24 PM
7387
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBslXprykHA12-06-2018, 06:16 PM
7388
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by gumbud
->
Jem - can you make that 'much later' PLEASE!remember less words and more Utubes - a picture tells a thousand tales?? and if ya kenny find a Utube any old tub will do??
Many thanks Sweetie, you are indeed a very obliging Lady.
Good old sinalonga Max, he never gave up did he, the only man who could get grandsons to dance with their grannies, mothers with sons, uncles with nieces, and aunties with nephews, the original 'all together now' man.
Daniel O’Donnell is a bit like him, he doesn’t ask people for requests at his shows, all he asks is “What’s your favourite song and I’ll ruin it for you” the missus loves dear old Daniel, I can’t stand the man. he’s too sweet to be true.
12-06-2018, 09:37 PM
7390
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTBatQob70A| Thread Tools | |
|
|
