Rehab Productions Presents...An Adventure.
Prelude.
Not many people know the history of the Jockeys Nostril Public House during those dark days of World War 2 back then it was a small and friendly country pub, frequented by farmers, yokels and wet dogs and of course a large contingent of RAF personnel.
Unlike today, sandwiched between the motorway and the sewage recycling plant, the Jockeys Nostril was situated within the boundaries of RAF Bigone Hill, a fighter aircraft base on the South Downs, and had become a home from home for the pilots and ground crew of the base.
It was one of those olde worlde type establishments...smelling faintly of manure, dogs and tobacco. The racks above the bar held pewter pint pots...and the odd dimpled pint glass for visitors.
Along the walls ran the the battle honours of the Topless 41st Fighter Squadron and pieces of shot down German fighter...wings..the odd leg with jackboot still attached etc .
Unlike today this drinking hole had no juke box, condom machine or carpets , just a bare wooden floor sprinkled with sawdust, an old dart board and an even older piano . you get the picture? And so begins a RIPPING YARN from Rehab Productions
Are you bored with the routine and your mundane run of the mill existence? Fed up of the 9 to 5 routine? Then maybe it is time for you to take on an adventure....
Rehab Productions will shortly be casting for the following roles in a new film.
1. A hero/heroine, would suit a tally how type, cravat and pipe optional.
2. An air traffic controller, would suit someone with a short attention span therefore very few lines.
3. An elderly engineer, anyone who knows about spanners and stuff like that
4. A German pilot, (boo..hiss!) ideal role for someone with a monocle, a bad German accent, a scar and shiny thigh boots
5. A Wing Commander, ideally someone old, portly with a large moustache and a Labrador
6. A couple of Commonwealth/ foreign pilots, Americans, Canadians particularly welcome, Polish would be ideal (there is a leak in the ladies WC again)
7. A few more bods for the walk on parts, i.e the obligatory cast of thousands and chariot drivers
8. Pub staff...landlord, busty barmaids etc
Applicants for any of these roles will need to be over 18 (there will be some adult themes and scenes of violence)
Applicants can be of any sex or even undecided, but no poofters.
Please apply in writing on the Jockeys Nostril board stating experience, role applying for, and a signed blank cheque to Rehab Productions Ltd.