02-10-2019, 11:28 PM
33
Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?
This is a difficult question because it depends on the situation, your time in life, your health etc. You might bear a grudge when young, but when you have other problems or ill health you may realise that life is too short to waste it thinking about negative individuals who have hurt you.Some people you just have to cut out of your life, they are toxic. But I try not to hate them. I just feel sorry for people who have that affect on others. It seems to me that they are the ones in pain. At the end of the day life is not easy and a lot of people are screwed up and make mistakes. Then sometimes it's just misunderstandings that cause pain. We don't know what others are going through and they don't know what we feel.
So, it's complicated. It's good to move on for that reason.
03-10-2019, 12:31 PM
35
Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?
I think that many of the nasty comments, actions, are rooted in Jealousy.Jealousy can be a natural reaction to seeing someone who is brighter, richer, brainier, than one's perception of oneself.
That could be true, or it could be that you are, actually, better than them but you don't realise that's the case.
The answer?
Talk them up, so that they feel better about themselves, whilst quietly enjoying the compliment.
If you can't fix a relationship you have to go look at all the other billions of potential friends out there in the world.
03-10-2019, 05:14 PM
36
Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?
For the minor disagreements in life then move on, it's just not worth it. For the more major emotional or psychological situations, where perhaps someone does something that is personally hurtful and offends in a major way that may be classed as 'unforgivable', then it should be realised by harbouring that as a grudge can do untold damage to the 'hurt' or 'offended' party. It can easily turn to bitterness which can negatively affect a person emotionally and physically.Forgiveness is often thought of as condoning a person's actions when in fact it is not that at all. What you are doing is to free yourself from any harmful emotions and thoughts, so allowing yourself to move on past what happened. Nothing wrong with not forgetting whatever it was happened, not to forgive though means you have lost control of an emotion, the other person continues to control that part of you so it's totally negative to allow that to happen.
03-10-2019, 05:28 PM
37
Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?
Originally Posted by Baz46
->
For the minor disagreements in life then move on, it's just not worth it. For the more major emotional or psychological situations, where perhaps someone does something that is personally hurtful and offends in a major way that may be classed as 'unforgivable', then it should be realised by harbouring that as a grudge can do untold damage to the 'hurt' or 'offended' party. It can easily turn to bitterness which can negatively affect a person emotionally and physically.Forgiveness is often thought of as condoning a person's actions when in fact it is not that at all. What you are doing is to free yourself from any harmful emotions and thoughts, so allowing yourself to move on past what happened. Nothing wrong with not forgetting whatever it was happened, not to forgive though means you have lost control of an emotion, the other person continues to control that part of you so it's totally negative to allow that to happen.
03-10-2019, 05:43 PM
39
Re: Forgive and forget, or bear a grudge?
Originally Posted by Tedc
->
I think that many of the nasty comments, actions, are rooted in Jealousy.Jealousy can be a natural reaction to seeing someone who is brighter, richer, brainier, than one's perception of oneself.
That could be true, or it could be that you are, actually, better than them but you don't realise that's the case.
The answer?
Talk them up, so that they feel better about themselves, whilst quietly enjoying the compliment.
If you can't fix a relationship you have to go look at all the other billions of potential friends out there in the world.
At least most of it !
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