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Robert Junior
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21-11-2014, 01:00 AM
1

Uncle Vivian revisited.

My Uncle Vivian in his old age having alienated most of his extended family, ended up in a rest home in rural Rotherham.
I visited him on his 90th birthday, he had lost none of his irascibility & was being rather curt to the young nurse trying to tend to him.
Sat in his enormous shabby chic chair he began to lean to his left & the nurse gently moved him back to an upright position again. He glared at her. Quite soon he began to lean to his right & sure enough the nurse leaned across gently and set him upright .
Finally he leant forward , deftly blocking her kind attempt to help him back to an upright position once more.
“For goodness sake nurse, let me fart “
Bless him.
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21-11-2014, 04:26 AM
2

Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

Its 3.22 am and here i am giggling at your post,i will never get back to sleep again...
So are you leaning left. Right or forward ?
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21-11-2014, 05:24 AM
3

Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

definately "like" and also would add a "laugh".

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21-11-2014, 02:45 PM
4

Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

Originally Posted by robert junior ->
my uncle vivian in his old age having alienated most of his extended family, ended up in a rest home in rural rotherham.
I visited him on his 90th birthday, he had lost none of his irascibility & was being rather curt to the young nurse trying to tend to him.
Sat in his enormous shabby chic chair he began to lean to his left & the nurse gently moved him back to an upright position again. He glared at her. Quite soon he began to lean to his right & sure enough the nurse leaned across gently and set him upright .
Finally he leant forward , deftly blocking her kind attempt to help him back to an upright position once more.
“for goodness sake nurse, let me fart “
bless him.
like.:-d:-d
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21-11-2014, 04:12 PM
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Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

LOL
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21-11-2014, 04:22 PM
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Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

Who needs a whoopee cushion with Uncle Vivian around!
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27-12-2014, 09:57 PM
7

Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

From my August 2014 diary.
Uncle Vivian, a jape
Today I have been spoilt by nurse Gillian After a shaky start, well we had to be up early because “they” were sweeping our pavement & gutter, having given the residents a weeks notice to keep our cars off along the road somewhere so their work wouldn’t be impeded. It didn’t work because at 7AM the road was clear of cars, at 8AM the road was filled with nurses cars working at the hospital across the way who couldn’t believe their luck on seeing dozens of car parking spaces.
Anyway we went down to Bournemouth , sat on the seafront & had lunch at Harry Ramsden world famous fish & chip restaurant.The staff were on their best behaviour , I think because there were a group of head office bods snooping around & making notes, silly so & so’s. I had 30 years of fending off head office staff & their antics. So I feel sympathy for the staff. I toyed with the idea of gurgling, holding my throat & rolling about on the floor, in front of the top man. He’d have been useless, they all are. Keep to your spreadsheets & leave the staff alone.That’s what I say.
Uncle Vivian would have sidled up to one of the”SUITS”, passed wind & then look accusingly at his victim “ Upon my word sir, you are NO gentleman”
Another jape was to put a dollop of peanut butter on the floor of a posh business premise, for all the world to see, & looking like cats poo.In full view of other customers he’d scoop it up into his mouth, what a guy!
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04-01-2015, 12:15 AM
8

Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

a distant cousin of uncle Vivian, uncle septimus had been a doctor all his life and had once complained about uncle Vivian excessive wayward habits - they hadn't spoken for years!

now retired who would be asked to lecture to the new med students and he and they enjoyed it immensely. one such lecture had him demonstrating the old technique of urine testing for diabetes. He would produce from beneath the desk a glass of urine and demonstrate to the students by saying watch carefully and you will be wise!

he swiftly dipped his forefinger into the urine and then just as swiftly placed it in his mouth and sucked! the students watched with awe - a slight sweet flavor he would declare - could be early onset diabetes.

he then requested all students to depart to the ablutions with their glass jars and provide a urine sample of their own. on return he would ask them to exchange jars with each other and then repeat his experiment.

hesitantly they all tried with looks of anguish and disgust on their faces - some gagged and spat out their small samples!

now said uncle septimus, if you had observed me carefully you would have noticed that I placed my forefinger in the urine but my middle finger in my mouth, just for this demonstration - we did have to do it as you did in fact

so one of the first rules of good medicine is close observation - most of you need to brush up on this!

uncle septimus used to tell this tale at family funeral and wedding gathering much to uncle Vivian disgust who used to walk off in a huff!
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08-11-2016, 09:32 PM
9

Re: Uncle Vivian revisited.

Originally Posted by gumbud ->
a distant cousin of uncle Vivian, uncle septimus had been a doctor all his life and had once complained about uncle Vivian excessive wayward habits - they hadn't spoken for years!

now retired who would be asked to lecture to the new med students and he and they enjoyed it immensely. one such lecture had him demonstrating the old technique of urine testing for diabetes. He would produce from beneath the desk a glass of urine and demonstrate to the students by saying watch carefully and you will be wise!

he swiftly dipped his forefinger into the urine and then just as swiftly placed it in his mouth and sucked! the students watched with awe - a slight sweet flavor he would declare - could be early onset diabetes.

he then requested all students to depart to the ablutions with their glass jars and provide a urine sample of their own. on return he would ask them to exchange jars with each other and then repeat his experiment.

hesitantly they all tried with looks of anguish and disgust on their faces - some gagged and spat out their small samples!

now said uncle septimus, if you had observed me carefully you would have noticed that I placed my forefinger in the urine but my middle finger in my mouth, just for this demonstration - we did have to do it as you did in fact

so one of the first rules of good medicine is close observation - most of you need to brush up on this!

uncle septimus used to tell this tale at family funeral and wedding gathering much to uncle Vivian disgust who used to walk off in a huff!
Just brilliantGumbud..........
 

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