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bethfab88
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18-06-2017, 08:31 AM
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i need some advice please...

Am going to be 51 in august. Had an ablation 4 years ago since my periods were so bad. Obviously that made me unable to get pregnant. I am so regretting that now. Of course my hormones are raging. No sex, no motivation. I am overweight and my hubby is hungry for some passion. I don't want to disappoint him. I love him very much. We have been married 23 years and have 2 lovely boys. My eating habits are bad. Really bad. I love pasta and I hate to work out. We have a gym we belong to with all the bells and whistles and I don't go. I don't know why, its 5 mi;nutes from the house. MOTIVATION!!! I need motivation for sex and working out. I am 5 foot 8 and weigh 222 lbs. Its totally disgusting. I need a big push from someone whos been there or in my shoes. Please help!!! XO Beth
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18-06-2017, 09:07 AM
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Re: i need some advice please...

Try and calm down if I were you. Take the pressure off. Sod your husband. Tell him to play with himself if he is that frustrated. You need to get in control of your own life and needs first.

Is there a diet club or fitness trainer / dietician close to hand?

Once you feel good about yourself everything else will fall into place I'm sure. Stop panicking and consider many people have had far more weight to lose and done so without too much bother. At first it seems insurmountable as no-doubt you are fixated upon food. Try and find like minded people who can share the burden. There are online clubs for this too. You might find you it opens up a whole different lifestyle.

In other words many have been in the same situation. You are not unique, so neither are you alone.
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18-06-2017, 09:31 AM
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Re: i need some advice please...

Unless you already have one get a terrier type dog, its the perfect way to motivate you to get out and exercise. Get some good quality proper fitting running shoes and start by normal walking for a distance that just tires you. Gradually increase the distance over a month or so. Remember dogs need walking every day but you'll need to take rest days in order to increase your fitness without over doing it. On rest days you can get your hubby to take the dog out. Once you have increased you distance to a point where you are out walking (non stop) for an hour its time to start increasing your speed. Keep increasing your speed so that you cover more and more distance in one hour. Over time gradually increase your walking speed so that you are right on the verge of jogging. Do this for a few weeks and remember to take rest days and drink lots of fresh water.
At this point which should take a few months you will start to get back your libido guaranteed.
The next stage is to go from very fast walking to slow and steady jogging and if necessary do a mix of fast walking and jogging for the hour. Imagine how fit you will be and how well you will feel when you are able to jog non stop for an hour.
Remember don't over do it and google stretching prior to running to avoid joint and achilles issues. I found that walking and running across grass land much better that pavements
Last of all you remember it doesn't have to be a hour it can what ever time you can spare and you don't need a dog but trust me they are the best thing to motivate you.

Good Luck
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18-06-2017, 09:58 AM
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Re: i need some advice please...

Beth, is there a walking club you can join? You can walk and talk with friends at the same time, or as Mark says see a Dietician for help.
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18-06-2017, 11:42 AM
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Re: i need some advice please...

I believe Doctor Phil could help.
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18-06-2017, 02:32 PM
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Re: i need some advice please...

You know whats wrong youve outlined it perfectly.

Motivation comes from yourself, the fact is is you cant be bothered why should anyone else?

I know that sounds mean but ask yourself if this post was from a stranger wouldnt you be thinking, well that person knows what their problem is and they know the answer so why dont they just put 2+2 together and get on with it???
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18-06-2017, 08:57 PM
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Re: i need some advice please...

Have to agree with the others on here. You must feel good about yourself first before you can even think about getting your mojo back.

When younger and sometimes put on weight, there was nothing worse than not being able to fit into clothes that once fitted perfectly, It's so depressing, but I'm sorry to say, unless you take a grip on yourself, you won't ever do it.You have to have the willpower to make a start.It's no good feeling sorry for yourself and doing nothing! How is that going to help you?

I well remember that when I started a diet, I told no-one. I stood in front of the full-length mirror in our bedroom, stark naked, faced reality, (the mirror never lies) but... after the horror of seeing how I had let myself go, I made a promise to myself that my diet would start the very next day! That is what you have to do. Start by cutting down on everything that you know is bad for you. Buy sensible foods that will aid your diet, don't be tempted by delicious food either bought by yourself or by someone tempting you. even lovely food aromas can kill your diet, You just have to have the willpower and even more, the respect for your body, to succeed. Buy Ryvita and stew some eating apples to put on them when you are feeling hungry.
It's very hard, and if you break your diet, don't beat yourself up about it and give up, just give yourself a good talking to and do even better the next day. You will start to feel so good about yourself as you see the weight coming off. It will take time, you should aim to lose about 2/3 lbs a week.

You are the only one that can make the decision to start your diet Beth, no-one else. Come on Girl, you can do it. Make the effort and you will soon be feeling much happier and have a happy hubby too.

Good luck, go for it!
 

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