22-01-2013, 06:05 PM
5
Re: Blonde Funnies
There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mello Yello. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"
23-01-2013, 11:07 AM
6
Re: Blonde Funnies
THE BLONDE
A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy,
"'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn.
Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"
The rancher leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, "'This is the one right here."
The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blond, asks,
"Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"
"That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"
The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
(It's nice to see a blonde winning once in awhile.)
.
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12-07-2013, 12:30 PM
10
Re: Blonde Funnies
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.
"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.
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