Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

twas the oirish an the fenmen who brought house clatterin doon
wiv der tails of massey furgusons and one roomed shanty rooms
day left out der apostrafees and plumbs shoved in der gobs
tis de Irish brought de house down and de fenmen got de jobs!

think I'll just go and lay down with a bex!

pee ess: ooze nic the nic - do Ize know 'im

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

I was tickin along like a time bomb
Till the teens exploded in view
Surrounded by girls, with ‘Garland’ like curls
Male sweat swopped with scented perfume

The end of an era had finished
Should have stayed back with me mates
But now I was trapped in a venus like grasp
And I longed for the next mental rape

And then for a moment ‘they’ released me
I’d re-emerged in testosterone ‘lake’
Felt good for a while, but then ‘gain beguiled
I was hooked line and sinker and wed

The End!

© gumbud

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

Lovely work Gumbud, love it!

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

Percy Thrower - a long line of spanner throwers!

Me father was a spanner thrower, me grandad and his dad
that's where I got me spanners from and learned to throw them lad

It's harder than knife throwing cos they don' stick in the board
we use polystyrene or we'd kill a blood hoard

Now you've heard all this nonsense of throwing spanners in the works
It's just an old wives story,, put around by old wife nerds

the tested spanner thrower would not resort to that
we've never damaged any works and that's a bloody fact

I must admit whilst practicing we may have missed the mark
but we stayed away from works and things and practiced in the park

it's a bit like gypsies, travellers, hobgoblins in the woods
you've got to blame somebody if your works don't do what it should

so if your message board is languishing with not a bloody word
and every time you switch it on there's not a murmur there
don't blame the spanner thrower he fixes things that work
go get another bloody board and call it "spanner throwers fair"

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

A lawyer said to a wealthy art collector tycoon: “I have some good
news and, I have some bad news….”

The tycoon replied: “I’ve had an awful day. Let’s hear the good news first.”

The lawyer said: “Well your wife invested £50,000 in two pictures this
week that she figures they are worth a minimum of £20 to £30 million.”

The tycoon replied enthusiastically: “Well done…very good news indeed!
You’ve just made my day. Now what’s the bad news?”

The lawyer answered: “The pictures are of you with your secretary.”

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

The 'warm' place doesn't worry me,Jem...coz I think I might be immortal.

After all,I've never died-and if I ever did,Diablo wouldn't want me down there,as my presence'd ruin the property prices,so it would!

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

I’m knackered lately with all the work I’m doing, not finished yet, but it’ll be worth it in the end. Might go on a foreign trip with the wife later on in the year, Timbuktu perhaps?


As a boy the first time I heard of Timbuktu was from my old Uncle Dave, God be good to him, Dave spent a long time in England before he set out for the USA where he fell in love with a beautiful Hungarian lady Dwarf, she worked in a Circus and was billed as 'Matchbox Mabel', they struck it off right away and married, they had three red headed children, two boys and a girl who grew up to be normal heights, they were a very happy couple until he died in the late 1960's.
Anyway I knew Timbuktu was somewhere in Kent because this is the short rhyme Dave used to recite at parties when he had a few under his belt.

As Tim and I walked through Kent
We spied three maidens in a tent
Golden hair and eyes of blue
I bucked one and Tim bucked two.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

Brilliant piece of writing Jem...... I would like to write so well.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

Ah your a decent man RJ, thanks.

lyrics of the 1920’s music are really wacky. I used to think Little Richards lyrics were really weird “Tutti Frutti, hey rudi” “Wap bop a lew bop a wham bang boo” and what have you, but this sample from the song Nagasaki by Cab Calloway takes the biscuit for me, but I liked it when Hugh Laurie sang it in an episode of Jeeves and Wooster I looked at recently. You won’t get any wicky wacky woo women today I can assure you, all that nonsense is in the past, worse luck.

“Hot ginger and dynamite
There's nothing but that at night
Back in Nagasaki
Where the fellers chew tobaccy
And the women wicky-wacky
Woo.
The way they can entertain
Would hurry a hurricane
Back in Nagasaki
Where the fellers chew tobaccy
And the women wicky wacky
Woo”

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 2)

yes let's get wicky wacky woo for a change:

the clock dripped off the mantle piece
in elongated time
the walking stick hung limply
on the leaning Pisa stand

the marbled cat was all cracked up
but held itself together
the dustpan was a molten mess
and had wed to dusty feather!

the carpet flowed like lava
It's patterns ever changing
and coal shuttle was a flame and lit
throwing shadows that danced 'tango raging'

the moon was like a sausage
that had frozen in the sky
and the trees were all hung over
could have sworn I heard them sigh

and as the dawn was breaking
the birds hung down iike bats
and instead of singing morning songs
they moaned like mating cats!