12-09-2017, 09:59 PM
31
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
Originally Posted by Mondays child
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Hi All. First of all a massive thank you for all your kind words and thoughts and the PMs to which I will reply.
I was so shocked about how people here cared how I was feeling and wanted to give support.
I was very embarrassed about my post after writing it as I didn't know if people would understand. Obviously you do.
I came on yesterday after going on another forum in the US I occasionally visit, mostly to read the dog posts, but I started deleting my photos and all my details on that site due to the way I was feeling and just wanted to go into shut down mode.
Like I said its not sympathy I was looking for as I blame myself for the mess I'm in, but I was at my wits end after realising in the car I didn't want to go home and face the mess. I love my little home despite the state I've let it and myself get into so it was a real shock to feel like that.
I just felt I needed to talk to someone as I know that when I am awake in the early hours and those dark thoughts come I'm at my lowest, and thats a dangerous place for me, but I'm so sorry I laid all my problems out on you all. I don't want to be a person who people avoid "he's such a moaner"
I managed to contact my CBT therapist today and have arranged another appointment with her, and am going to have tell her that filling out the self diagnosis forms are not helping.
I think it would be more helpful to open the little locked boxes in my head and talk about the problems and fears I lock away and hide from me and the rest of the world instead.
I am so lucky, I love my home (it will be better once I've given it a damm good tidy up) I like where I live and if I can spare some me time to tidy myself up things will feel better. I don't like to take time out for me as it seems such a waste I just need to push myself harder. Plus I feel that I'm not so alone now after talking to you all.
I actually slept better last night after my confession.
So again thank you all so much for your understanding and help.
12-09-2017, 10:13 PM
32
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
Originally Posted by Mondays child
->
Hi All. First of all a massive thank you for all your kind words and thoughts and the PMs to which I will reply.
I was so shocked about how people here cared how I was feeling and wanted to give support.
I was very embarrassed about my post after writing it as I didn't know if people would understand. Obviously you do.
I came on yesterday after going on another forum in the US I occasionally visit, mostly to read the dog posts, but I started deleting my photos and all my details on that site due to the way I was feeling and just wanted to go into shut down mode.Like I said its not sympathy I was looking for as I blame myself for the mess I'm in, but I was at my wits end after realising in the car I didn't want to go home and face the mess. I love my little home despite the state I've let it and myself get into so it was a real shock to feel like that.
I just felt I needed to talk to someone as I know that when I am awake in the early hours and those dark thoughts come I'm at my lowest, and thats a dangerous place for me, but I'm so sorry I laid all my problems out on you all. I don't want to be a person who people avoid "he's such a moaner"
I managed to contact my CBT therapist today and have arranged another appointment with her, and am going to have tell her that filling out the self diagnosis forms are not helping.
I think it would be more helpful to open the little locked boxes in my head and talk about the problems and fears I lock away and hide from me and the rest of the world instead.
I am so lucky, I love my home (it will be better once I've given it a damm good tidy up) I like where I live and if I can spare some me time to tidy myself up things will feel better. I don't like to take time out for me as it seems such a waste I just need to push myself harder. Plus I feel that I'm not so alone now after talking to you all.
I actually slept better last night after my confession.
So again thank you all so much for your understanding and help.
In my case .. when I was in my dark place of despondency I cut myself off from people.
It's hard to relate to normal chat when you're preoccupied with inner demons or feel adrift and are struggling to nail your sense of direction in Life to something concrete.
The best thing I did was to join a forum back then .. that's when I first joined one ... seeking contact and uncomplicated company with other people (strangers who became friends). They were a life line for me, helped me regain my perspective, and made me laugh now and then and helped me get my feet firmly back on the ground. I'm eternally indebted to those good friends of those bygone days.
You hang around here ... you're amongst friends.
12-09-2017, 10:26 PM
33
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
The first step is solving a problem is admitting you have one. Youve done that and more ..It sounds as if you have a plan of action and are busy taking steps to make it happen which is so positive.
I wish you the very best of luck and hope that you wont feel worried about posting here , everyone has moments when they just need to offload its natural..
12-09-2017, 11:06 PM
34
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
Oh Monday, l was so sorry to read this. In my head, l see you as such a witty person and l love reading your posts.Sometimes, when we live on our own, we feel so alone in the world with no one to discuss things with and everything escalates.
I would be willing to give you my mobile number if you need someone to talk to.
12-09-2017, 11:38 PM
36
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
I've always been a believer in the axiom that a problem shared is a problem halved. If you unburden yourself to someone about your worries and cares, it helps you get it off your chest and hearing yourself talk about your problems also helps you collect your thoughts. The fact that you have shared your concerns with all of us on this thread is a good way of unburdening yourself. There's been some sage advice offered here to help you cope, I do hope you take some of it on board.My very best wishes to you.
13-09-2017, 08:17 PM
38
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
mc as has been said go easy on yourself, see your Dr as soon as you can and try to explain how you feel.you need help.Have you any friend /relative who you could confide in,? someone who you could go out with,maybe have a meal out. I think it will do you good. Sending you lots of best wishes and hoping things get better for you.Keep in touch here people are good listeners and always willing to help13-09-2017, 11:57 PM
39
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
Hi MC - used to be in the CBT area myself once and there has been a lot of good advice given from others here. But one thing I don't think I've spotted is "do you have a good mate" you can spend time with - because IMO they are often better than CBT's and drugs and trick cycalists! - if you haven't got one there may be organisations around your area that do just that " send out a mate in need" or you may know of some clubs ex-servicemens ; british legion etc - what I'm suggesting is that "a mate in need is a mate in deed"best wishes
14-09-2017, 02:00 AM
40
Re: I'm really sorry but I need to talk.
Originally Posted by Judd
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I've always been a believer in the axiom that a problem shared is a problem halved.
MC, i hope you are finding this a better day, and that you moved forward a bit. Stay busy and keep moving. Good things to you today!
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