Bowels, don't make me laugh!

I often think of the late Hylda Baker's catchphrase "have yer been?, and when a nurse in her bedside manner asks the question "have you had your bowels open today?" how they would react to the reply, "yes, seventeen times".

That's before and after bowel surgery, things are inconvenient to say the least. But you get over it and think, "thank heaven that was diagnosed in time".

This leads me nicely into this, but apologies if I posted it before, my memory aint what it used to be:-

http://bowelcancersupportgroup.co.uk/patient-stories/

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

My sister found out she had bowel cancer through a postal test. She was very health conscious, a vegan, fit and had no symptoms. She'd had a colonoscopy two years before as we have lots of bowel cancer in the family, that was clear
Unfortunately, after two years of ops, chemo etc it returned and spread, she had more chemo but because one tumour was in a difficult place to treat where it had spread to her liver. She passed away aged 76 two years ago.
I always tell people how important those tests are, of course I'll be sending mine off as soon as it arrives.

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

Sorry to read that Tessa. You will have read I ignored the letter at first, but glad they pursued.

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

Colin bowel cancer is a horrible thing and a condition many were reluctant to discuss until recently.
Good for you for taking about it and raising awareness .

I know and have looked after people who succumbed to the condition, thank goodness treatment is improving all the time .

We had a thread on here not long ago discussing the home test which I think is a very good diagnostic tool. It is of course a matter of personal choice as to whether or not we use it, I always do.

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

They introduced breast screening xrays, because they felt there was a need for it.

They offer 101 other tests because they feel there is a need for them, so why not bowel screening?.

To be given a choice is far better than no choice and suffer the consequences.

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

I just love this poem by J Haldane on this subject:

Cancer’s a Funny Thing

I wish I had the voice of Homer
To sing of rectal carcinoma,
Which kills a lot more chaps, in fact,
Than were bumped off when Troy was sacked.

Yet, thanks to modern surgeon’s skills,
It can be killed before it kills
Upon a scientific basis
In nineteen out of twenty cases.

I noticed I was passing blood
(Only a few drops, not a flood).
So pausing on my homeward way
From Tallahassee to Bombay
I asked a doctor, now my friend,
To peer into my hinder end,
To prove or to disprove the rumour
That I had a malignant tumour.
They pumped in BaS04.
Till I could really stand no more,
And, when sufficient had been pressed in,
They photographed my large intestine,
In order to decide the issue
They next scraped out some bits of tissue.
(Before they did so, some good pal
Had knocked me out with pentothal,
Whose action is extremely quick,
And does not leave me feeling sick.)
The microscope returned the answer
That I had certainly got cancer,
So I was wheeled into the theatre
Where holes were made to make me better.
One set is in my perineum
Where I can feel, but can’t yet see ‘em.
Another made me like a kipper
Or female prey of Jack the Ripper,
Through this incision, I don’t doubt,
The neoplasm was taken out,
Along with colon, and lymph nodes
Where cancer cells might find abodes.
A third much smaller hole is meant
To function as a ventral vent:
So now I am like two-faced Janus
The only* god who sees his anus.

*In India there are several more
With extra faces, up to four,
But both in Brahma and in Shiva
I own myself an unbeliever.

I’ll swear, without the risk of perjury,
It was a snappy bit of surgery.
My rectum is a serious loss to me,
But I’ve a very neat colostomy,
And hope, as soon as I am able,
To make it keep a fixed time-table.
So do not wait for aches and pains
To have a surgeon mend your drains;
If he says “cancer” you’re a dunce
Unless you have it out at once,
For if you wait it’s sure to swell,
And may have progeny as well.
My final word, before I’m done,
Is “Cancer can be rather fun”.
Thanks to the nurses and Nye Bevan
The NHS is quite like heaven
Provided one confronts the tumour
With a sufficient sense of humour.
I know that cancer often kills,
But so do cars and sleeping pills;
And it can hurt one till one sweats,
So can bad teeth and unpaid debts.
A spot of laughter, I am sure,
Often accelerates one’s cure;
So let us patients do our bit
To help the surgeons make us fit.

J. B. S. Haldane (1964)

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

I've had it, and it was not much fun.
In year 3 of all clear now though...

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

Sorry to hear that you had it Fender, glad to hear you're clear now.

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

Thanks Tess,

If anyone ends up being diagnosed and is worried, I'm always available for a chat..

Re: Bowels, don't make me laugh!

There is islandman.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bowel-c...roduction.aspx