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Uncle Joe
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Uncle Joe is offline
Brighton UK
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Posts: 25,458
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07-06-2011, 05:40 PM
1

Man Rules

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, ITwill be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
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anniemuldoon
Senior Member
anniemuldoon is offline
N Cumbria
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,862
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07-06-2011, 06:29 PM
2

Re: Man Rules

Well you know how to get into trouble..... so you can only blame yourselves.
Uncle Joe
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Uncle Joe is offline
Brighton UK
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Posts: 25,458
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07-06-2011, 06:31 PM
3

Re: Man Rules

Dolce
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South Africa
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Posts: 83
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07-06-2011, 08:00 PM
4

Re: Man Rules

Well Uncle Joe ... that is exactly the problem, the number one problem!
Topaz
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Topaz is offline
Scotland
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 675
Topaz is female 
 
07-06-2011, 09:56 PM
5

Re: Man Rules

merz
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merz is offline
Lancashire, UK
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07-06-2011, 10:07 PM
6

Re: Man Rules

Good one Uncle Joe....everything is much clearer now!!
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Jem
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Jem is offline
Dublin
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07-06-2011, 10:18 PM
7

Re: Man Rules

Bravo joe!, I'm going to print that out and stick it on the fridge, sure I don't mind sleeping in the shed.
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John
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John is offline
Eastleigh Hampshire
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Posts: 1,686
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09-06-2011, 07:54 PM
8

Re: Man Rules

Joe, I'm also going to print out them wise words, and give them to her indoors. I am then going to beat Usain Bolts record for the hundred metres!
Uncle Joe
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Uncle Joe is offline
Brighton UK
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Posts: 25,458
Uncle Joe is male  Uncle Joe has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
10-06-2011, 07:31 AM
9

Re: Man Rules

Originally Posted by John ->
Joe, I'm also going to print out them wise words, and give them to her indoors. I am then going to beat Usain Bolts record for the hundred metres!
John matey, I don't have a 'her indoors' - marriage is an 'institution' and who wants to live in an institution???
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Les
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Les is offline
Belfast - Northern Ireland
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Posts: 58
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10-06-2011, 12:51 PM
10

Re: Man Rules

Number one Joe!
 
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