How wrong is this?

Our friends daughter 43 years old, was taken into hospital with bad abdominal pain.
X-rays and scans were done, and as nothing was seen, it was decided to operate.
Some one, and we don't know who, be it a nurse or doctor told the husband. "To get her family to the hospital to SAY GOODBYE".
The husband did not say this but just told the family to come to the hospital.
The mother came, and sister came from Leeds. Her brother and his wife had to cancell their appointments for the rest of the day, and all arrived at the hospital very worried.
The daughter had an operation and it was found that she had a twisted bowl, and inflamed appendix.
At present time is still recovering.
How wrong was that of the medical person to say that to the husband.

Re: How wrong is this?

So sorry you have gone through that ordeal,but looking from the other side imagine they hadn't said it and everyone had not had a chance to say goodbye, surely worse ?

Re: How wrong is this?

One thing to remember is that doctors are not Gods, they just do things to the best of their ability.If he thought that the daughter was dying is it best that he warned the father and was wrong or didn't warn the father but was right.. I think the former but you might think differently.

Re: How wrong is this?

The husband did not repeat what he was told, but used a bit of common sense just to get the family to the hospital.
But remember, the hospital did not know what was wrong until they opened her up.
If he had repeated what he was told. The mother who is not a well person and as she said, she could have died herself.
The father who was my close friend died some 6 years ago.

Re: How wrong is this?

I think what he said was wrong.
He could just have said 'Things don't look good - it might be a good idea to get your family here'

That way, he had done his duty and it was up to the husband to decide.

Re: How wrong is this?

But unless the doctor was god how could he predict exactly what would happen ? He did best he could with knowledge he had IMO. It's distressing I know but he was trying to help.

Re: How wrong is this?

If the doctor couldn't find anything wrong through x rays and scans, then he was doing an exploratory operation, so for that medical person to insinuate that she may not pull through was at best ill judged but in my opinion callous and heartless.
Best wishes to the wife in her recovery, and respect to the husband for not repeating the comments, though the fact that all the family had been summoned would have had them all fearing the worst.
He should complain to the hospital so that hopefully no other families will be put through a situation like this through a crass comment.

Re: How wrong is this?

Complain ? We wil have doctors scared to say anything at this rate, they face complex cases everyday with us wanting to know what is happening. I doubt he meant harm sounded like he was trying to help so complaining seems harsh at best.

Re: How wrong is this?

That's your view. If you had experienced what that family went through perhaps your views might be a slightly bit different.
How do you know it was a doctor?
Are you privy to some inside information that was not disclosed to the rest of us?
No doubt harm wasn't meant, but the remark caused unneccesarry anguish to a whole family.

Re: How wrong is this?

Cant say anything about how serious this case was.


Have owned doges all my life and if they get what is called a Twisted Gut if not prompt action with in a couple days is taken they DIE