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swimfeeders
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swimfeeders is offline
Shropshire
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Posts: 24,056
swimfeeders is male  swimfeeders has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
16-05-2018, 10:57 PM
11

Re: Pivot Points?

Hi

We have brought our kids into life.

Our job to look after them.

As Ruthio said, you love them and let them go.

They make choices which may not be those we make ourselves.

They are not clones, they are individuals.

Love them and support them in their decisions.

That to me, is parenting.

It is at times hard, but we bring them up as individuals.

My daughter got involved with an absolute prat.

I could have easily kicked him from here to kingdom come.

I was so sorely tempted.

Hard though it was, I desisted, she learnt a valuable lesson.

She is a better person for it.

It was her decision to leave the relationship, not mine.

I must admit however to getting involved after she made the decision.

I do not take kindly to threats against my kids.

That is just being a Dad, such is life.
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Mups
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Northamptonshire
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17-05-2018, 12:38 AM
12

Re: Pivot Points?

Swim,sorry but something's worrying me about your previous post.
You know how I love dogs - their personalities, their humour, and their companionship.

So I have got to ask, why on earth would you even think about getting a dog if you intend to clear off travelling for "half of the year" (your words) and dump it on others? What is the point?

How will he/she ever know who it's owner is when it is constantly changing hands?
How do you imagine you can build any sort of bond with an animal you are rarely with?
They need consistency in their daily lives, not being set different boundaries by different people, that would be totally confusing.

I suspect this maybe something to do with your pretend grandchildren wanting you to get one - am I right? If so, what if the dog doesn't even like children, or is afraid of them, what then?

I expect you will be quite annoyed with me by now, but from how you say your life is - and what you want to do when you move - I seriously think you need to think this through better.

Personally, I could no more clear off and leave mine for six months than I could cut my right arm off! There would be no point in having one if I didn't want to be with it.

You state that if you bring kids into your life it is your job to look after them, well the same applies to pets as far as I'm concerned. Sorry if it offends.
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swimfeeders is offline
Shropshire
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17-05-2018, 01:18 AM
13

Re: Pivot Points?

Originally Posted by Mups ->
Swim,sorry but something's worrying me about your previous post.
You know how I love dogs - their personalities, their humour, and their companionship.

So I have got to ask, why on earth would you even think about getting a dog if you intend to clear off travelling for "half of the year" (your words) and dump it on others? What is the point?

How will he/she ever know who it's owner is when it is constantly changing hands?
How do you imagine you can build any sort of bond with an animal you are rarely with?
They need consistency in their daily lives, not being set different boundaries by different people, that would be totally confusing.

I suspect this maybe something to do with your pretend grandchildren wanting you to get one - am I right? If so, what if the dog doesn't even like children, or is afraid of them, what then?

I expect you will be quite annoyed with me by now, but from how you say your life is - and what you want to do when you move - I seriously think you need to think this through better.

Personally, I could no more clear off and leave mine for six months than I could cut my right arm off! There would be no point in having one if I didn't want to be with it.

You state that if you bring kids into your life it is your job to look after them, well the same applies to pets as far as I'm concerned. Sorry if it offends.
Hi

Mups you do not offend me at all.

The dog is a Boston Terrier.

The owner lives a few doors away, unfortunately now had a stroke.

She has asked that we look after it, she has to go into a home., she is a widow.

It will be spoilt rotten.

It is quite used to the littlies and myself and my lodgers.

We look after it when she is in hospital.

Far better than going into kennels and waiting to be adopted.
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Twink55
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Cheshire, England
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17-05-2018, 06:32 AM
14

Re: Pivot Points?

Originally Posted by swimfeeders ->
Hi

Mups you do not offend me at all.

The dog is a Boston Terrier.

The owner lives a few doors away, unfortunately now had a stroke.

She has asked that we look after it, she has to go into a home., she is a widow.

It will be spoilt rotten.

It is quite used to the littlies and myself and my lodgers.

We look after it when she is in hospital.

Far better than going into kennels and waiting to be adopted.
I am with Mups on this one . Pets get used to the routines that they have been taught, so taking one from a person, who can't keep it, is very difficult.... I know I took in my sisters cats when she died. It took me 3 years to help them settle into my routines and I was with them 24/7.
I always think it would have been easier to take in children, than pets, because you can talk to the children to help them understand.
It is kind of you to take in your neighbour's dog but, what will happen if you are away and your lodgers also need to be away? Most dogs relate to their master, no matter how many people they live with, so changing it's master every 6 months is confusing. What would happen if you became too ill to look after it, as it would then lose another home?
I have made financial & practical provision for my cats, in case I die before they do, because as they are my responsibility it is my duty to do so!
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17-05-2018, 08:20 AM
15

Re: Pivot Points?

I have decisions to make on a regular basis, some more important than others.
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Surfermom
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United States
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17-05-2018, 02:33 PM
16

Re: Pivot Points?

Originally Posted by AnnieS ->
Often times you are in a situation and it feels as though you have a safe option by not doing anything. It's only when you make a decision to change and leave the "safe option" that you realise that there is a life out there which is free and full of opportunities and the safe option was choking the life out of you.

Unfortunately I am in such a situation where I would love to leave the so thought "safe option" and with no idea of any plan and at this "middle" age am too afraid to move.

So you end up with nothing really because "safe" is just a prison but what can you do if your life and past choices have made you institutionalised to your situation even if it's making you thoroughly miserable?
That was an extremely well-written, bittersweet response, to what I suspect is a very common situation . I so agree with you, and it should be a lesson to be taught/learned in youth, that not making a decsion - is a decision.

I am terribly sorry that you are in a difficult place. It is a skill, but it can be attained, that one can choose to find peace and even happiness even when circumstances are outside of one's control, or having to accept the consequences of a difficult decision.

Good things your way, Annie.
 
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