Re: Depression

Many getting to know situations seem to lead to an assignation, but, there you go.

Re: Depression

As such, you have to ask who is counselling who.

Re: Depression

All I can help with is relating what I know, not necessarily what should be.
Firstly, is it depression ?
Secondly, if it isn't depression the young man might not even understand he is not well. It could be due to numerous ,possible diagnosis.

Counselling didn't help my son. He had a mentor, who came to chat. Not a permanent employee and then he moved on again. So back to square one.
He saw all the experts , but never the same one twice. No continuity resulting with the same series of questions and tick boxes every time. Last one that came to visit at home, asked him how he felt on a scale of 1-10. He said 5. Then he was asked why he thought it was 5. For goodness sake ! This is mental health help on the NHS. Another one who bit the dust by being told to disappear. After that I got a letter saying they were not continuing to help , any problems go back to your GP. So back to base from where all the worst stuff started in the first place.

Medication, (certain ones) are known to make them feel even worse. They also contribute to a craving for sweet foods by the ton. Hence weight increase which makes the person involved feel even worse about themselves.

Typical is , staying in bedroom most of the time, not sleeping and walking around all night, not interested in anything. Loneliness , which is increased by friends moving on. Irritability , short fuse, always apologetic afterwards. Intense dislike and obsession of different things which changes constantly.

I think I may have things a bit out of sequence but, the hardest part is getting him to seek help. If he's an adult there's nothing you can do to force him. You could go to your GP and have words. I did that but it backfired, and caused worse problems and if there's one person they need to have confidence in it is the person who is with them 24/7 otherwise their world will completely collapse.
Health visitors may try to push the wrong buttons to get a reaction, which means they can then be committed.

Example. Exact conversation "Have you had your pills today? YES, I HAVE. "How do we know you have had your pills today "? BECAUSE I AM TELLING YOU I HAVE. "We can't believe that"... LOOK HERE IS THE PACKET YOU CAN SEE HOW MANY ARE LEFT. "You may have just taken that one out of the packet." They were told unpolitely to leave., OUT OF MY HOUSE !
How is that helpful to mental health
patients ?

This is to a 35yr old man who has a top degree in Philosophy and is far too clever for them all. He doesn't take fools lightly and doesn't like being treated like a fool.

I am so sorry for her and him, so very difficult. Having been through the process, he is still not good but improved from a couple of years ago, without prescribed medication .
He does have the old whacky backy at times, it helps him sleep as sleep deprivation is another symptom of mental health. but as someone said on the other thread , it can do damage to the brain, and it does ! He's always a lot worse a couple of days afterwards.
Mental health can take years to recover from, if at all completely. A breakdown is just as lethal as schizophrenia or psychosis of a different nature. The sad thing is they are tormented and we know little of how to help properly.

I know 3 other families, 2 long standing friends who suffer the same or similar. None of us expected this to happen to our family, but it does, and she is not on her own there are support groups out there if she needs help. Go to her GP if needed.

If by any chance he can be diagnosed as it may not be only depression. If there's no way, then tell her not to cause him axiety, and listen, ALWAYS listen to what they say, if necessary agree with them, or stay silent and don't interrupt, there is absolutely no point in arguing , and always remember he is not well.

Sorry to make this so very long, but there is so much and every person is different and do not come under the normal house rules. Good luck to your friend and her son. Patience.

Re: Depression

That's appalling. Who was this 'health visitor'? Clearly not a counsellor or, if so, a very poor or even incompetent one.

Re: Depression

That sounds dreadful about the counsellors your son had the misfortune of seeing PD.

Maybe I was lucky, but I was able to see the same chap all the way through, and as I got to know him, I trusted him.
Also probably your son's circumstances were different to mine, the people were different and the problems different too.

I only know he helped me enormously, and I'll always remember him.

Re: Depression

NHS mental health support workers. Two of them to visit daily. It was in fact two of them visiting every two or three days and never ever was it the same pair who came.. complete waste of time and NHS money. 3 steps forward 4 steps backwards.

Mups, I think you were lucky and I'm pleased you are good now. Horrible times for anyone.
There are psychotherapists, which apparently can be very good , unfortunately they are not readily available in all areas.

Re: Depression

There is an organisation called 'MIND' for people suffering with depression.

They have a centre for people to go to - they meet others in the same position as themselves - they chat over a cuppa. They have activities to get involved in - - art & craft work etc.

I have a relative who has been going there for years. It's a lifesaver for her.

This could give the young man something to get out of bed for..

Re: Depression

Yes you will always know when someone is depressed, they didn't finish their cup of tea.
There are always experts on depression around you. I was told by a smart arse to do something different on weekends, like prawning. You know, catching those little crabby things in sea water.
And how about the best advice ever, snap out of it, you're not really depressed, you just worry too much.

Re: Depression

This young man was sent for counselling, the first thing the counseller asked was " how do you think we can help you"After a few more questions , when he didnt reply [ he hates talking to strangers ]it was decided that counselling wouldnt help him.He has asked to see a psychiatrist & his Dr has agreed to refer him to one , but hes still waiting [ months ] to get to see one

Re: Depression

Been there when My parents died within a short time of each other and Sue was having a threatened miscarriage. I felt as if my mind was in a balloon and every time I tried to get out I got bounced right back . That for me is the easiest way to describe it and never ever want that to happen again.
So what got me out of it? the thought of my eldest son being left without a father, that brought back reality to me.

Ok depression varies from person to person depending on the situation. All I can suggest is hypnosis to find the cause or a theropist that specialises in talking through the problem with the patient