18-01-2017, 02:59 PM
81
Re: Can Anyone Make Me Laugh Because I Am Really Bored At The Moment...
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep" the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars" the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."
18-01-2017, 03:15 PM
83
Re: Can Anyone Make Me Laugh Because I Am Really Bored At The Moment...
One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I can guess your age."The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants," she says.
He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old."
"That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?"
"You told me yesterday."
18-01-2017, 10:25 PM
84
Re: Can Anyone Make Me Laugh Because I Am Really Bored At The Moment...
Originally Posted by Artangel
->
I am going to say that l am still bored as l don't want to stop your brilliant jokes flowing in!I have laughed and laughed so much, you are all so funny, in fact a tonic!
You are all winners and l'm going to take you all out for an all expenses paid slap up meal at my favourite restaurant in Oymyakon in the heart of Siberia. Here the temperatures are nearing triple digits below zero but if you order a piping hot stew it will warm you up!
You will love looking out at the snow which can be viewed from every window! Sounds impressive doesn't it? Put your names below.....
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