Join for free
Reply
Page 50 of 51 « First < 40 48 49 50 51 >
doctor's Avatar
doctor
Senior Member
doctor is online now
west wales
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,175
doctor is male  doctor has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
03-12-2017, 12:51 PM
491

Re: Jokes for blokes

On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple went to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe.

The proud husband says, ďMy dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.Ē

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished.

-ďOh, oh, aaahhh,Ē he exclaims, ďMy God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture.Ē

Puzzled she asks, ďmy picture?Ē

He answers, ďyes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever.Ē

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks,

-ďWhy do you wear a robe? We are married now.Ē

At that, the man opens his robe and she exclaims, ďoh, oh, my, let me get a picture.Ē

He beams and asks, ďwhy?Ē

She answers, ďSo I can get it enlarged!Ē
Reply With Quote
Primus1's Avatar
Primus1
Senior Member
Primus1 is offline
York
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,264
Primus1 is male  Primus1 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
03-12-2017, 03:29 PM
492

Re: Jokes for blokes

An older couple had been dating for years and one day they decided to get married, they decided to go out for a meal to discuss the forthcoming wedding, they had a long discussion about the finances , living arrangements and so on, eventually the subject of sex came up, the man asked " how often do you want sex"? She replied " I would like it infrequently", the man thought for a while then leaned forward and whispered " is that one word, or two?"
Reply With Quote
Primus1's Avatar
Primus1
Senior Member
Primus1 is offline
York
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,264
Primus1 is male  Primus1 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
03-12-2017, 03:45 PM
493

Re: Jokes for blokes

Its 1957 and bobby arrives at his girlfriends house for their date, Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in, " what are you going to do on your date" asks the father, " well sir" replies bobby, " we'll probably go to a milk bar then to a drive in" " why don't you screw"? asks the father, " Peggy sue loves to screw, she'd screw all day if she could", just then Peggy sue comes down and her and bobby go to the car, a few minutes later Peggy sue storms back in slamming the door behind her," twist dad, its called the twist"....
Reply With Quote
Primus1's Avatar
Primus1
Senior Member
Primus1 is offline
York
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,264
Primus1 is male  Primus1 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
03-12-2017, 03:56 PM
494

Re: Jokes for blokes

A man is showing his girlfriend his new sports car, she's a girl that loves speed and is really excited,
" if I can get to 200 miles an hour will you take off all your clothes"? Asks her boyfriend, " yes " replies the girl, so off they go, soon the man gets to 200 and the girl takes off all her clothes, unable to concentrate, the man loses control and crashes upside down against a tree but the girl is thrown clear and is unhurt, " get help" says the boyfriend, " I'm stuck" the girl replies " but I'm naked and my clothes are gone" ,
The man takes off his shoe, " take this and cover your pubes"
The girl runs off with the shoe between her legs, soon she comes to a garage and runs up to a mechanic, " help help my boyfriends stuck" she cried, " sorry madam" replies the mechanic, " he's too far in for me to help'"...
Reply With Quote
OldGreyFox's Avatar
OldGreyFox
Chatterbox
OldGreyFox is offline
South Yorkshire
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,900
OldGreyFox is male  OldGreyFox has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
03-12-2017, 08:11 PM
495

Re: Jokes for blokes

Brilliant Primus, Mrs Fox loves them jokes.....
Reply With Quote
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is online now
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 13,426
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
05-12-2017, 12:27 AM
496

Re: Jokes for blokes

A family are driving behind a rubbish truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, that was just an insect."

To which the daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."
Reply With Quote
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is online now
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 13,426
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
05-12-2017, 12:31 AM
497

Re: Jokes for blokes

How does a Welshman find a sheep in tall grass?

Very satisfying.
Reply With Quote
Primus1's Avatar
Primus1
Senior Member
Primus1 is offline
York
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,264
Primus1 is male  Primus1 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-12-2017, 11:11 PM
498

Re: Jokes for blokes

An elderly man visits the doctor, he explains that he would like to get his young wife pregnant, the doctor gives him a plastic lidded cup and give a sperm sample so he can do a sperm count,
The following day the man returns and the doctor is surprised to see the cup is empty, " why didn't you give a sample" asks the doctor? "Well says the man, " I tried with my left hand, nothing, so I tried with my right hand, nothing, then my wife tried with her left hand, then her right hand, then her mouth, nothing, then her friend tried first with her left hand, then her right hand and then her mouth, still no joy, " " wait " said the doctor "your wife's friend tried" " yes" said the man, " and we still couldn't get the bloody lid off"....!!
Reply With Quote
doctor's Avatar
doctor
Senior Member
doctor is online now
west wales
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,175
doctor is male  doctor has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
07-12-2017, 11:25 AM
499

Re: Jokes for blokes

21 Things You Can Only Say At Christmas -And get Away With it!



1. I prefer breasts to legs
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
4. If I donít undo my trousers, Iíll burst!
5. Iíve never seen a better spread!
6. Iím in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Itís a little dry; do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, youíll get some!
10. Donít play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think youíll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didnít expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. Youíll know itís ready when it pops up.
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. Thatís the biggest bird Iíve ever had!
19. Iím so full, Iíve been gobbling nuts all morning
20. Wow, I didnít think I could handle all that and still want more!
21. I do like a good stuffing.
Reply With Quote
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is online now
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 13,426
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
07-12-2017, 01:30 PM
500

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by doctor View Post
21 Things You Can Only Say At Christmas -And get Away With it!



1. I prefer breasts to legs
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
4. If I donít undo my trousers, Iíll burst!
5. Iíve never seen a better spread!
6. Iím in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Itís a little dry; do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, youíll get some!
10. Donít play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think youíll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didnít expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. Youíll know itís ready when it pops up.
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. Thatís the biggest bird Iíve ever had!
19. Iím so full, Iíve been gobbling nuts all morning
20. Wow, I didnít think I could handle all that and still want more!
21. I do like a good stuffing.
Clever!
Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 50 of 51 « First < 40 48 49 50 51 >

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.