17-03-2021, 11:15 PM
16432
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
We all used to singalonga Max in our house, well my Mam and Dad made us sing alonga.
Here’s an attempt at a new type of poetry, (well new to me) there’s probably a name for it already but I’d call it “over rhyme”
“Peter the reader of the meter was sent out to greet her
But Martha was smarter, she knew he would beat her
She got Terry from Kerry to hide her on the Ferry
Then Taylor the Sailor introduced her to Jerry
Who passed her on to Tony Maloney who’s pony was skinny and boney.
At least she wasn’t lonely and Tony was no phoney
She tried to call Momma but got no tone on the phone
So it wasn’t answered by the old crone, who had a heart of stone.
She wept, slept, awoke, took a sup, and finally gave up”
A few years back some member was on about ‘Bullying poetry’, that’s another new one to me, very interesting, I wonder could you bully someone through poetry?
Perhaps they could introduce it in schools, the bully might think twice if he had to use his brain to think up a rhyme before he insults a fellow student.
A lot of motorists seem to become bullies when they get behind the wheel, of course my observations are from a passengers point of view only as I don’t drive, God only knows there are enough fools on the roads without one more.
“Get out of my way you slimy scum
Your blocking the road and spoiling my fun
My car is bigger than yours you know
And your heap of crap is far too slow”
How about a bullying MP speaking in his ‘Clinic’ to a female constituent who is married with six kids, and seeking a council house.
“Mrs Smith it is plain to see
You have six kids but that’s not down to me
Tell your husband to get shelf stacking, the shelves are bare
Then work yourself and put your kids into care…Next!”
God we do live in a heartless World, and it’s not getting any better.
This is Moe T. Whorist, a womaniser and bad tempered driver, snapped here while waiting patiently for the lights to change.
Don’t mind me as I’m half jarred for the day that’s in it.
Hasn’t Trump got a son in law called Jared, I wonder if he fathered a son would the son be a little Jared most of the time?, jaysus what a name to burden a man with, it’s enough to make you want to take the pledge.
20-03-2021, 11:11 PM
16434
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Something very strange happened to me today, you can believe it or not I don’t mind, but some weird things have and still do happen to me every now and then, and as nobody ever believes me I don’t bother to relate them more than I have to.When I came down from bed this morning I turned on the radio and Clinton Ford was singing that old song “Fanlight Fanny”, the last time I heard that on Irish radio was back in the 60’s.
Then there was that name “Fanny’, nobody’s called Fanny any more, well I don’t know anyone alive of that name, maybe it’s gone out of fashion as some old names do.
Later in the day the wife was out at the bread shop and the phone rang, I hate phones, always have, haven’t got nor never will have a mobile phone, they are an invasion of privacy but that’s another long story, so I don’t answer the house phone when it rings, they can leave a message on the recorder, besides the wife makes up for me when she’s on the phone, she can talk on it for hours no problem.
Anyway she had told me earlier she was expecting a call from her sister in London and would I answer it if it rang when she was out and to tell her she’d ring her back, fair enough says I.
It rang about 20 minutes after she left the house, and I picked it up saying to meself I wonder who’s dead this time, it’s always bad news when I pick up the phone, another reason I hate using it.
It was not her sister but her sister’s grand daughter, and guess what her name was?… Fanny!
She said she was christened Frances but everyone called her Fanny.
She was a lovely girl of 20 with a cockney accent and a hearty laugh, a person I never even knew existed, she was interested in Irish folk lore and I had a great chat with her for about 15 minutes, then the wife came in and I passed her onto the young girl called Fanny.
How strange is that? uncanny and very weird indeed.
Now if I told that to my grandmother were she alive today, her interpretation would be that someone I knew called Fanny and was now dead needed a prayer to help get her out of purgatory and into heaven.
She could have a point there, I did have an aunt Fanny, (hadn’t we all back then) a very wealthy woman she was too, married an old geezer who had three popular pubs in Cork, he didn’t last long and when he popped it she was left in clover.
I didn’t bother to go to my rich aunt Fanny’s funeral, never mind say a prayer for her, she was not a very likeable person, mean and snobby, my Mother used to say that woman still has her confirmation money, but you know the maxim, if you haven’t anything good to say about a person then don’t say anything, so rather than be a hypocrite I stayed away, but I will say a prayer for her, it’s always wise to keep on the good side of the dead because you’ll be joining them for all eternity one day.
I must tell you sometime about the day I had a big win on the horses, pure magic coupled with divine intervention, and I didn’t even have to lay a wager or risk stake money, all for sweet Fanny Adams.
21-03-2021, 11:16 PM
16438
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by Tubby
->
I knew a welsh girl called Myfanwy does that count?
It sure does count in my book Tubby.
Fannys are so scarce nowadays we need all we can get, so I’ll chalk you up one Fanwy from Wales to go with my Fanny from London.
******
“Free” or “Gratis” in the Latin, for some reason crossed my mind today as I was presented with the bill for the materials for the greenhouse, it’s almost finished now, nothing fancy but adequate for what the missus wants.
One of my old bosses Alfie Palmer, God be good to him, had his own words for “free”, he would smile when he got something for nothing then say “Ah, that was financially painless Jem”
If he got a bargain he would change that to “I did well there Jem, but it involved a little financial aching”.
He used to be in real agony paying out the bills at the end of every month, best to steer clear of him and leave him alone in his office when he was suffering like that, he had the makings of a financial martyr had our Alfie.
He was tight alright, but he looked after his workers and paid them well, he produced high class stuff, he was a batchelor and lived with his elderly mother, his “little family” he called the workshop crew.
It wasn’t a bad move when you think about it, well paid workers are happy, less prone to illness and pilfering, therefore more productive, some bosses could do with taking that on board, Alfie died a very financially successful man.
Not much left in the World now that’s free, you even have to pay for your water and for them to take away your rubbish, God help us if they ever figure out a way to tax the air we breath.
The two main museums in Dublin are still free as is the national art gallery and the libraries, the huge Phoenix Park and all other public parks.
Free travel on trains and busses for pensioners, they also get free TV licenses, a double weeks bonus at Christmas, and a fairly generous fuel allowance in Winter, all in all I must say they look after their old folks very well here.
“She offered me a kiss, said it was for free
So I puckered up my lips, to get ready you see
She yelled out a scream, so I had to let her go
I had somehow managed to step on her left big toe”.
22-03-2021, 11:30 AM
16439
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
This reminds me of the spoof Rainbow - Top Gear episode.A woman comes up to Zippy and George and says "Hello Boys"
Zippy says to her "What's your name"
She replies "Carmen"
Zippy says "Why are you called that?"
The woman replies "Because I like Cars and Men"
She says to Zippy "What's your name"
"Lager Fanny" he answers.
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