19-04-2018, 09:30 PM
5931
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Good for you Fruity, what you and her good self do with the harness is nobody’s concern, not to mention the stirrups, spurs, saddle, whips, and reins.
An old boss of mine used to say that to me when I’d be leaving work for the weekend “Don’t forget Jem, I want you back in harness here on Monday morning 8 o’clock sharp, all bright eyed and bushy tailed” I was never bright eyed on Monday morning in me life, red eyed yes.
Seriously though one does hear some weird stories about what goes on behind closed doors. Of course I wouldn’t know anything about that kinky stuff, my father used to make umbrellas for a living so I had a very sheltered life.
Come to think of it I was never very adventurous that way, the usual bread and butter stuff was good enough for us. Perhaps the embarrassing thought of Firemen carrying me out of the house naked with a chandelier around me neck and a champagne bottle hanging out of me bottom put me off that kind of aristocratic behaviour. God you’d never live it down around here, give me the simple life any day, far less risky too.
19-04-2018, 10:01 PM
5932
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I have lost the plot, meanwhile here's something I read back in the day.Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure I shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.'
20-04-2018, 05:51 AM
5934
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by Robert Junior
->
I have lost the plot, meanwhile here's something I read back in the day.Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure I shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.'
YES RJ you have described us to a tee!
20-04-2018, 11:12 AM
5936
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Jem having listened to many hilarious recalls of shall we call them 'intimate mishaps', our fire and police personnel relish those chandelier moments to lighten their load so who could deny them that pleasure or those that get to hear of them.One thing is for sure they are correct in saying "Just when you think you have seen it all you will be proved wrong" .
Robert, for one that usually gets lost in a good book I have never finished Alice in Wonderland. Thought it was nonsensical waffle then and still do. Maybe it was the illustrations that created the wrong impressions in my then young mind.
Now Sherlock Holmes, Rob Roy and any Charles Dickens characters, there's writing for you.
20-04-2018, 12:00 PM
5937
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Alices little feet, you'd want to see the pair of feet on my missus. She was playing Cinderella in the school panto many moons ago and when the prince called with the crystal slipper to see would it fit he took one look at her foot and said "My dear girl, that foot wouldn't fit into the Crystal palace never mind a crystal slipper, next!"I don’t love you cos your feets too big
Fats Waller.
Who's that walkin' round here?
Mercy, sounds like baby patter
Baby elephant patter, that's what I calls it
Say, up in Harlem at a table for two
There were four of us: me, your big feet, and you
From your ankle up, I'll say you sure are sweet
From there down there's just too much feet
Yes, your feet's too big
Don't want you 'cause you feet's too big
Can't use you 'cause you feet's too big
I really hate you 'cause your feet's too big.
20-04-2018, 12:13 PM
5939
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by Jem
->
Alices little feet, you'd want to see the pair of feet on my missus. She was playing Cinderella in the school panto many moons ago and when the prince called with the crystal slipper to see would it fit he took one look at her foot and said "My dear girl, that foot wouldn't fit into the Crystal palace never mind a crystal slipper, next!"I don’t love you cos your feets too big
Fats Waller.
Who's that walkin' round here?
Mercy, sounds like baby patter
Baby elephant patter, that's what I calls it
Say, up in Harlem at a table for two
There were four of us: me, your big feet, and you
From your ankle up, I'll say you sure are sweet
From there down there's just too much feet
Yes, your feet's too big
Don't want you 'cause you feet's too big
Can't use you 'cause you feet's too big
I really hate you 'cause your feet's too big.
20-04-2018, 02:53 PM
5940
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Fear not for the safety of our revered Jem,dearest bumgud......it's well-known in certain circles that being clamped in the 'Mongolian Chuff-Lock' while being soundly thrashed with sticks of [lightly buttered] raw rhubarb upon his naked,oiled buttocks prior to them being forcefully inserted,is a common Saturday night post-pub ritual,in Casa Jemstone.
[well,it was either that,or lukewarm Darjeeling & a slightly saggy Hobnob,sitting in uncomfortable silence,listening to Radio 3]
...seriously,which choice would YOU make?]
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