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devon56
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devon56 is offline
London
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13-12-2016, 11:47 PM
11

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Originally Posted by ruthio ->
If this woman knows about your very recent break, then I fear that any move on your part to a closer one-to-one friendship than the casual bumping into one another in the street scenario, will cause her to wonder...

My advice would be that for the moment wait until you "bump" again, and then be ready with an impromptu suggestion of coffee (or something).

Even that makes me a bit nervous...but as meg says, go for it.
Just the offer..."how about a coffee, if you're not in a hurry???"
Depending on the local Gossip Network (gawd bless 'em), she probably won't know until I actually get to chat with her. Even so it doesn't really change the problem unless I go along the lines of:

"Wife and I have separated but don't worry, I don't actually fancy you"

- which probably won't help either!

Thank though, Ruthio, you've given me an idea....
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Artangel
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13-12-2016, 11:58 PM
12

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Mmmn, l'm not sure about this one, devon.
You seem a nice man but your marital status is going to make some women run a mile, so be prepared for that.
You see, what scares me when l'm asked out by a separated man is that l might get cited in a divorce. So l don't get involved and say, come back when you're divorced!
I know you only want this lady as a friend but be prepared that some ladies would be wary about getting involved.
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14-12-2016, 12:18 AM
13

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

A coffee with no strings would be fine!
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Meg
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14-12-2016, 01:00 AM
14

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Originally Posted by Meg ->
Hi Devon try to find her interested and maybe invite her out for a daytime thing like coffee and cake or tea somewhere nice which can be less intimidating than an evening meet up.

You say she might get 'the wrong idea', if she does she does.
If you don't ask her out you will never know if you could have been friends so what have you to lose in asking
Hi Devon expanding on my earlier post I see you live in London. If you are in an area with lots of coffee shops/ places for tea next time you bump into her you could say something like 'I was just going to get a coffee in ****would you like to join me' or if you have been chatting 'I have enjoyed chatting to you would you like to continue our chat over a cup of coffee' .

You could also pop a note through her door asking her out for coffee.

I met my late husband by bumping into him in a doorway. He knew where I worked and put a note through the door saying 'Would you like to come out to dinner with me tonight, tomorrow night or every night'
Silbee
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14-12-2016, 01:06 AM
15

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me if I'd like to meet up for a coffee or a drink.

There are only two answers ... and only one way to find out.

Good luck, though. : - )
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Mups
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14-12-2016, 01:07 AM
16

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Originally Posted by Meg ->
Hi Devon expanding on my earlier post I see you live in London. If you are in an area with lots of coffee shops/ places for tea next time you bump into her you could say something like 'I was just going to get a coffee in ****would you like to join me' or if you have been chatting 'I have enjoyed chatting to you would you like to continue our chat over a cup of coffee' .

You could also pop a note through her door asking her out for coffee.


I met my late husband by bumping into him in a doorway. He knew where I worked and put a note through the door saying 'Would you like to come out to dinner with me tonight, tomorrow night or every night'


I prefer the first idea of mentioning coffee casually, rather than putting a note through her door personally.

As for your husband's idea, that was cheeky, original, funny, and lovely, all in one go. Clever man Meg.


Devon - I hope you're going to let us know the outcome after all this?
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14-12-2016, 01:08 AM
17

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Isn't anyone giving any consideration to his wife? It's only eight weeks since they separated!
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Meg
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14-12-2016, 01:13 AM
18

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
Isn't anyone giving any consideration to his wife? It's only eight weeks since they separated!
Art 8 days, 8 months. 8 years when you have split up does it matter which it is . Apparently Devon is ready to move on.
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14-12-2016, 01:15 AM
19

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
Mmmn, l'm not sure about this one, devon.
You seem a nice man but your marital status is going to make some women run a mile, so be prepared for that.
You see, what scares me when l'm asked out by a separated man is that l might get cited in a divorce. So l don't get involved and say, come back when you're divorced!
I know you only want this lady as a friend but be prepared that some ladies would be wary about getting involved.


Fair comment Art, especially as it is so recent.
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Meg
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14-12-2016, 01:18 AM
20

Re: Not giving the wrong idea

Originally Posted by Mups ->
Fair comment Art, especially as it is so recent.
Mups we don't know the details, the wife could have gone off with someone else or the pair could have been estranged for years and just decided to split up.
 
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