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I agree.

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Floydy, would H be the one in your group who has a bad illness by any chance? If so that could explain the reaction

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To be quite honest if I were the friend who'd lost someone then I'd not have wanted to go out and would have texted/called one of the group and excused myself till I felt better. But that's just me.
In answer to your question about betraying, the answers yes and it's still very raw even after four years, I know I'll never see this friend again and if I did, I'd not speak to them so I hope I never ever do see them again.

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It sounds like H has other problems in his life, probably lots of small ones that have mounted up over time. Imagine a dripping tap slowly filling a sink with water. Eventually, it will overflow. I doubt your friends being late would normally be that important but it might have been the last thing that tipped him over the edge after the death of his friend. He might have even been looking for an argument of some sort to release some pressure, or remove the sink plug if you like.

I think just giving him a bit of space will help. Feel sorry for you though being in the middle of it.

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Yes, I agree with LD, "you always hurt the one you love" type of thing. Folk take things out on those nearest.
I let things fester for years then explode, the most amazing rubbish gets brought up to justify it

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January is the worst month for some people.There are usually more deaths and suicides. It was only last week we had January Blues Day.
I always think if a normally nice person seems grumpier than usual, then there’s usually more to it.

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This is so true .
Things are said which are best not .
Wise advice.

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Thanks all, I have some thoughts on what to say to 'S' when we meet for a quick pint on Sunday afternoon. He and 'H' have been friends for so long but 'H' does get in some moody ways after a few beers sometimes. I think he needs telling too about his behavoir, but in a casual way and I'll be the one to talk to him I think. 'S' is not entirely blameless though as his personality is one of overpowering me me me all the time, which also needs to be addressed. Both are great blokes though and I'm sure things will get sorted out and I'll act as mediator and make sure they shake hands, although we are not letting 'H' know that we are meeting up. We all agree on that.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall on the cruise though!

No Mags, it's not him. Phil is seriously unwell and we probably won't see him again, sad to say.

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I'm sorry to hear Phil is so unwell, Floydy
I just wondered if illness could have been the cause of H's outburst.

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Hi Mags.
Sorry for my delay with this reply but I thought I would wait until my 'meeting' with my mates 'S' and 'D' had taken place yesterday to report back.

'S', who we can now call Steve actually though he was being called upon for a rollocking and turned up at the pub in a rather confrontational manner (what's new there?!), but myself and 'D' (who we shall now call Dave) calmed him down and we had a really good chin wag. His wife and 'H''s wife have been talking to one another and duly decided that we blokes are behaving far more like drama queens than the women in our little gang ever have been. That tended to hit home with us and sheepishly we brushed everything aside. And Mags, I think 'H' has some other issues we don't really know about, so maybe that explains his moods.

'H', who we shall still refer to as 'H', was not invited out with us today. We decided to chat pleasantly about things away from him. He and Steve haven't yet 'patched things up' as they haven't spoken to one another again yet, but that is up to them. Dave is still certain that things will blow over, after all the two of them have known each other 45 years. But from now on we will (and I will personally see to this) NOT mention this episode when we recommence our regular Saturday afternoons out with each other. It's a no-go area from now on and I will instantly curtail any talk of it. Fingers crossed!!


On another note - and it's as if this was fate, meant to happen - our mutual friend 'Phil' who was badly stricken with cancer last year by chance was actually in the final pub we visited yesterday. It was very strange occurrence.
His wife Carol passed by us through the bar and we spotted her and asked how Phil was, expecting the worst. She said "Oh, he's in the other room with us all on a family meal out. Come through and see him". So we all did and the change in the man is remarkable. He tells us that his cancer from his brain has gone but he is walking on sticks still and had some terrible tumours in his leg, not being able to feel his feet and may even end up having his leg amputated. He has lost so much weight sadly but apart from being not good physically, his mind is all back again and his slurring has stopped. He want s us to contact him next time we go out and we will oblige.

So it's been a strange and eventful afternoon yesterday, but all's well that ends well. Almost anyway!!

Sorry for rattling on!

Edited to post this photo I almost forgot about. Please ignore Phill's 'gurning grimace' - the flash on the camera surprised him, normally he's much more photogenic!
L-R: Steve, Phil, Dave, Floydy