Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Number 34 is my lucky number, it used to be number 109 but that number let me down in a raffle so I ditched it, funny how folks only have lucky numbers going up to 10 ain't it, I suggest they live a little, be more adventurous and pick two digits, or even three, who knows their luck might change.
I knew a very refined young man, worked with him actually, he told me that anytime he asked a girl to dance when in a ballroom the first thing he asked her was what her lucky number was, if she said 7 as most do he would never ask her out on a date "Seven is far too common for me" He eventually married into the mighty Guinness family. That's a fact.
As that great Irish poet and tinker (he had his own caravan) Malachi Mullarky said “One must endure life’s dangers if one is to live” he also said “To lie on one’s back and do nothing, is better than to lie on ones feet and get away with it” well said Malachi me oul flower.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Malachi had a point,Jem...but only up to a point. [see what I did there?]

I told a lie once. A blatant,all-out,100% non-truthful lie.
I didn't feel at ALL worried about it being a lie,as DUE to telling it,I survived.
No severe battering,no headaches,no ringing in my ears,no snot in my mug of tea.
Oh-the lie? It was the night we were about to attend the Mayor's ball.
Herself had proudly presented herself for my inspection in her new dress.
She asked "Does my bum look big in this?"
Now...my options were
1/"My dear,it suits you as rainbows suit the sky".
2/"That dress enhances your glory the way sunshine enhances a Sunday".
3/"You look like a horse backing up to scratch it's arse on a gatepost".

....using just your husbandly knowledge of such matters-pick the answer I didn't use....then,using that answer,work out which one was actually true. [and for GODS sake,keep it to yourself!]

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

You are too much of a gentleman to use number 3 Pug, either that or you’re an awful coward.
I have always been truthful when the women in my family ask the big bum question, anytime they have to ask me they seem to be very nervous, they all know too well that I don’t pull any punches so you might say I have the last word on it. I am under instruction to inform them immediately if I think they are putting on weight, I can assure you I hate the job, but as the hangman said, somebody has to do it.
Only last January the daughter came in and said she put on 8 pounds over the festive season, I was blamed for it for not watching HER weight! I mean how do you win with women.
Anyway why are they so concerned about the bum area? I never heard one of them ask “Does my breasts look big in this top?” Or with a new hat “Do my ears look big in this hat?”

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

the african males in general revere the large posterior in women but not in themselves! - and it's very useful for carrying things such as kids and parcels etc etc I can't imagine what else it could be useful for ??

hang on baby you could finish up on the other side of the room!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

bye the bye chum mates - how's everyones facebook account going on these days?? just asking!

and good morning Sir Ringo Starr!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

That's a bum wearing a dress Gummy "Does my dress look too small in this bum?"
I don't know anything about F/book Gummy, me two grandkids are always on it that's about it.
What's with the 'Sir' Ringo, didn't the Beatles all return their OBE's back in the sixties?
What does OBE stand for anyway? One Boiled Egg?

Was that Gilbert O’Sullivan from Waterford you mentioned a while back Gummy?

[YT]D_P-v1BVQn8[YT]
Blast ! it didn't work again, that's it, no more attempts.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Almost perfect there Jem. Look at what you typed and just add the missed / before the yt in the second bracket

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

One would rather eat one's socks after a day wearing wellies in a horse paddock,than open a Farcebook account,gumbud,old chap. In the years that horrific joke's been available to the populace,Jeremy Kyle has become a multi millionaire solely on the back of "Basically,you turned round at the end of the day,obviously,know wot I meen,Facebook,innit"!

[Ringo WHO???]

...and as for the young lady above...I really REALLY wouldn't wish to be on the window seat beside her on a bus. Good Lord - her body's back-to-front & upside down!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I say...pertaining to nothing in particular...one's nice new,shiny,laptop arrived this very morning. Not even unboxed it yet,just had a quick peek inside...hmm,I'll never make fully qualified geek at this rate. However,with a little luck and a lot of expostulating,I may actually be able to see youtube videos on forums.

Sorry....carry on,chaps....

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

oh for feck sakes Jem all you missed out was a forward slash! here it is mate - look I would be hopeless of polishing gems - but if you wuz trainin me yuz be sayin - come on gummy keep trying ; keep trying wouldn't yuz??



yes dat's the geezer!!