Re: Why Are Some Women/Men So Bitter And Just Won’t Let Go?

People can express hurt anyway they choose to. They can cry, scream, lock themselves away, run away, write letters of anger....etc., to help them cope.
It’s all perfectly normal, healthy behaviour.

When it crosses over to ‘abusing’ someone, then it’s become an unhealthy obsession. This isn’t an opinion of someone with low standards or an inability to understand. Abusing somebody else because you are hurt is generally against the law in most countries.

I’ll repeat it again - People who respect and value themselves know that they don’t need to put up with abuse from anyone regardless of the situation.
I’m quite certain people who see any type of abuse as an unhealthy obsession aren’t coming from a place of ‘low standards,’ or have a lack of understanding.

I don’t need to know what happened to this couple to come to my conclusion.
People have a right to be angry and express that anger for as long as they choose to. That is their own prerogative.
It’s when it becomes a vicious cycle of toxic abuse that it becomes a problem and there definitely IS a line there.

Years ago I went out with a man whom I was crazy about. Months into the relationship I discovered he had an abusive side. He knocked me so hard across the face that he completely wiped out one of my eardrums. I had to have an entire eardrum rebuilt which was never the same again.

This man also stalked me for months until I finally called the police and had him arrested. The reason he was arrested was because his hurt and anger got out of control to the point of an abusive obsession and stalking is against the law.

You aren’t allowed to stalk someone because you are obsessively hurt.
You aren’t allowed to abuse anyone because you are obsessively hurt.
Understanding this ^^^^ doesn’t come from having low standards or a lack of compassion.

Note: My comments weren’t directly concerning this couple.

Re: Why Are Some Women/Men So Bitter And Just Won’t Let Go?

Gosh, Bratti, that sounds horrific, not to mention the most awful fear you were going through.

Only once, has a man hit me and that was when l was about 19 and couldn’t get to the place where l was meant to meet him. No mobile phones in those days to contact people.

Later, he came to the discotheque where l used to go to and in front of everyone gave me a slap across my face.
It wasn’t the hurt, it was more the shock that he could hit a woman.

Re: Why Are Some Women/Men So Bitter And Just Won’t Let Go?

Yes it was scary and so unexpected but it was also a long time ago.

According to police and women’s shelters, breaking up is the most vulnerable time in a relationship and can become volatile.
Most crimes done against partners are done at this crises in time.

Some people have a more difficult time letting go of a break up and will resort to aggressive behaviour which should be avoided at all costs if and when possible. Counsels advise to have an escape plan when leaving these types of people.

You can’t MAKE someone love you and some people unfortunately don’t understand that.