10-03-2016, 12:16 PM
1
Time I posted a few more jokes
Depends on how you hear it...Two men were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
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A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine.'
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'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife €775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honour,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few Euros myself.'
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A doctor examining a woman, who had been rushed to the A&E, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the look of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'but she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Traveller/Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
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Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
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A man is recovering from surgery when the Theatre Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm OK but I didn't like the four letter-word the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
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While shopping for holiday clothes with her husband, the wife passed a display of bathing costumes. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since she had even considered buying a bathing costume, so she naturally sought her husband's advice.
'What do you think?' she asked her husband 'Should I buy a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better buy the bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
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The graveside service had just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling into the distance...
The little old man looked at the minister/priest and calmly said, 'Well, she's there!!'
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