years ago it was expected you'd have children to follow in the family tradition but I knew it wasn't for me and thank God I didn't give in to pressure from others
17-04-2014, 08:48 PM
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Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?
I'm really interested to read all these views that echo my own about not wanting children. I imagined I'd get a real slating from most women on here who have a family. Sue's right - some people do have them so they will have someone to like them which is not only terribly sad but terribly misguided too. I was told once that without them, who would look after me when I'm old, like they were unpaid carers in waiting or something. Someone else said (a man) they wanted a mini-me who resembled them!My view is that most people take more care choosing a new car than they do deciding on whether to reproduce.
17-04-2014, 08:58 PM
27
Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?
Originally Posted by Patsy
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So right - my Mother should never have had children 
I had 2 children and of course raising them was not easy at times, it's a job like any other, but on the whole I enjoyed their childhood. Their teenage years were not without drama but we made it through.
I certainly don't expect them to look after me in my twilight years!
17-04-2014, 09:14 PM
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Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?
I feel you can be more independent if you don't have children, they take over you life and that thought put me off many years ago, I've always enjoyed working and have reaped the rewards from it.I suppose I was selfish in a way but my thoughts are, you only live once so enjoy it to the full and personally I felt I couldn't have done so with children, my life would never again be my own and I'd have had a huge responsibility that I knew wasn't what I wanted or could have coped with
18-04-2014, 09:35 AM
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Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?
Originally Posted by cranberry
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You don't mean that!! I had 2 children and of course raising them was not easy at times, it's a job like any other, but on the whole I enjoyed their childhood. Their teenage years were not without drama but we made it through.
I certainly don't expect them to look after me in my twilight years!
18-04-2014, 10:55 AM
30
Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?
Originally Posted by orangutan
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I always find it interesting that some people who have decided not to have children consider themselves, or are considered by others to be, selfish. I don't think that is true.My view is that in some ways people who want to have children are selfish. I know there is a lot of selflessness along the way once you are a parent, but if you decide to have children it is because you WANT children, for whatever reason. In other words, deciding to have a child is doing something to please yourself as the parent. Ergo, some selfishness involved?
So I'd be quite interested to hear why people do decide they want children. Perhaps they satisfy a need for something? I've got my own views on why people may want children, but would love to hear others verbalise why they wanted them. I certainly would have liked children, but it didn't happen.
Also wanted to give grandchildren to my MIL who really wanted them, she had parented her first grandchild for 18 months only to have the mother return and take the child away to live hundreds of miles from her and she was almost grieving for the child. If we cold have given her a grand child she would have loved it.
She was great with the children we parented despite them being no relation to her at all, makes me sad to think how she missed out.
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