Re: Cruel

My husband's much older brother (84) had to go into a nursing home as his dementia is so bad he is totally away with the fairies, and doesn't recognise any of his family.

Re: Cruel

The local homes round here that do the three week no visitors do seem to have a happier outcome than the ones that don't, it's just to let them settle and think of the place as their home. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease, sometimes I'm afraid to help the surrenders you do have to appear to be cruel to help them understand.

No home would say three weeks if they hadn't proved it works best.

We kept my grandad at home right to last two days of his confused and unhappy end of life, nearly killed us putting him a home but it was a haven of safety for him and us. Only two days he lived but it was by that time only thing we could do.

I don't think anyone can judge unless they've lived with the patient for a while, my grandad a lovely gentle man became highly sexualised making comments and touching in ways if he had his mind he would have hated. The home could cope with that far better than us. When he hit tasha she was a small child we knew we had to do something.

Cruel ? It's the disease that's really cruel.

Re: Cruel

I think dementia is so cruel, one is better off dead than living with it.

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It certainly can be although we had an aunt thoroughly enjoyed her dementia I've never seen her so relaxed or happy as she was when she lost the plot, sang and danced her way, usually taking her clothes off in an exagerrated strip tease all around the local area. Police brought her back trying to keep a blanket around her on several occasions but she was happy.

Re: Cruel

If my husband succumbs to dementia, like his brother, he will have to go into a home, there is no way on earth I could cope with that as well as his brain damage.

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I have always thought we'd struggle on together as long as we could, he might have other plans though and send me off, have to wait and see

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As I have said before, my husband would have put me in a home if I had suffered from brain damage as he has, there is no way he would have coped with me, that is not in his remit. So if I have to put him in a home, should he get dementia, I would have no hesitation in doing so, having done my bit for 11 years, so far.

Re: Cruel

I think all dementia people, know that theres something happening to them, they are just very confused and vacant .....

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I know no one knows the full circumstances,but to put my friend in this home with no warning ,no chance to say goodbye and not have visitors for 3 weeks is very harsh.True my friend was a bit 'forgetful' and sometimes said silly things, but she loved 'coffee mornings weekly 'coming along on her own,went to a womans house for years to have her hair washed & set every 2 weeks, she would call in on another friend after this for coffee but make her way home in time for 'Lose Women', she also sat in the park in good weather near her house The Care hoe is not even local but quite a distance away.After the 3 weeks is over a few of us hope to hire a car and visit her, but will she remember us after being away from all /everyone she knows

Re: Cruel

deleted - forget I said anything...