Smile.

Pharmacist to customer, “Sir, please understand. To buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription. Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”
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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life.”?
She replied, “My husband’s cheque book.”
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A definition of OLD:
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
. . . And that, is the definition of 'OLD'.
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SIGNS OF THE TIME
Phones - Wireless
Cooking - Fireless
Cars - Keyless
Food - Fatless
Tires -Tubeless
Dress - Sleeveless
Political Leaders - Shameless
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Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
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I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
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I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
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The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
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Why do I have to press one for English when they're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
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Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet . . . .
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St. Mark's Anglican Church - CHURCH NOTICE:
ADAM & EVE
THE FIRST PEOPLE
TO NOT READ THE APPLE
TERMS & CONDITIONS