The whiter chips regulation is referring to crisps not our traditional chips. The rest of the world seem to call crisps chips, no idea why.

I's a good job these Eurotwats don't waste time on the homeless or pensioners that can't afford the heating. Much more important to change the colour of chips.

Can you imagine a typical day in the EU Office of Pointless Rules;

'Right, ok persons of nondescript gender, we have to come up with a new rule by the end of the day. Any suggestions?'

'Er, what about straight bananas?'

'No, we've done that'

'Er, what abouuuuuuuuut .....making it illegal for a child under eight to blow up a balloon?'

'I think we did that one too, last year.'

'How abouuuuuut..... All cats and dogs must wear socks when they go walkies?'


SILENCE!..........


'Yes.....Yes..... Excellent (M)Arthur, that's a good one. Right let's get working on that, I'll need it on my desk by 5pm today people.'

(Lots of cheering and the opening of non fizzy champagne)