10-09-2017, 10:27 PM
2971
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
While Henry Hamilton-Smythe minor (8) was playing croquet with Cynthia Jane De Blaise-William (9), sweet smiling Cynthia raised her mallet high and gracefully removed Henry's head. Two weeks later, in Henry's nursery, she discovered his treasured musical box.Eagerly she opened it and as "Old King Cole" began to play, a small spirit-figure appeared. Henry had returned - but not for long. For as he stood in the room his body began aging rapidly, leaving a child's mind inside. A lifetime's desires surged through him.
Unfortunately the attempt to persuade Cynthia Jane to fulfill his romantic desire led his nurse to the nursery to investigate the noise. Instinctively, she hurled the musical box at the bearded child, destroying both.
11-09-2017, 01:50 PM
2972
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by gumbud
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how the hell do ya expect us to keep runnin the place with you knickin off every other w/end. these w/ends away are becoming very repetitive and suspicious and down right discourteous - this is suppose to be a boys only club and the treasurer keeps nickin off with voluminous pairs of nickers labelled 'the gap' must say it's left a bloody big gap in the clubs numbers and finances. I have noticed of late the poor quality of gussets not so much in ladies underwear as I am not accustomed to inspecting them too often either empty or engaged. but certainly mens [namely my own.] the entire material of the common or garden under garments are intact and remain well elasticated but the gusset has entirely disappeared so upon having a good old blast on the fart apparatus my super silken bond street trussers cops the full strain. I have a good mind to take them back to the store and demand either a refund or a re- attachment of said missing gusset! - it's just not good enough standards are falling [the label attached to my undies is 'standards']
Look at it from my side Gummy, would you not take off as often as you could with free free travel all over the country including free ferry to the Islands, special rates in hotels for cancelled bookings, sure you would, and that wife of mine is getting more attractive by the year, 72 and not a grey hair in her head and she’s as fit as a fiddle, I’m simply making hay while the sun shines, besides you are all old and ugly enough to look after yourselves, and it could be worse, when I return I could be describing my breaks in detail boring you all to death, some folks love that but I know you lot don’t, so I’m being considerate, just be grateful for small mercies and get composing some of your fine poems again, perhaps a love ode to attract a few females to the fold.
Where is that RJ fella gone to, he’s sadly missed around here.
Thinking about that, deep down there is a reason why I don’t enjoy looking at holiday snaps.
My posh Aunt Betty used to come to our house after her holidays in Scotland every year, the brother and me were mere boys at the time, when she arrived, usually in the early evening, us boys were called in from our street games, games like “Kick the can” “Catch a girl kiss a girl’ and the like. Aunt Betty would plonk her huge arse in the armchair in the parlour, open her handbag and take out three thick wallets of ‘Kodak’ photographs, they were then passed around one by one and everytime you looked at one you were supposed to smile and go “Wow! isn’t that lovely” After looking at about 150 snaps you would be hoarse and your face would hurt from forced smiling, and when it was over all the games on the street were over too, God how I hated her coming back from her holidays. Now every snail in the garden has a camera of some description and there’s no escaping photos, is it any wonder that looking at peoples holiday snaps make me cringe inside.
Oh it’s great to have free travel
To go with the wind and unravel
And when you get there
Hope there’s no net there
Just singing, dancing, wagging the vocals
And having the craic with all the locals.
That’s my idea of a fun break.
11-09-2017, 02:07 PM
2973
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by spitfire
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While Henry Hamilton-Smythe minor (8) was playing croquet with Cynthia Jane De Blaise-William (9), sweet smiling Cynthia raised her mallet high and gracefully removed Henry's head. Two weeks later, in Henry's nursery, she discovered his treasured musical box. Eagerly she opened it and as "Old King Cole" began to play, a small spirit-figure appeared. Henry had returned - but not for long. For as he stood in the room his body began aging rapidly, leaving a child's mind inside. A lifetime's desires surged through him.
Unfortunately the attempt to persuade Cynthia Jane to fulfill his romantic desire led his nurse to the nursery to investigate the noise. Instinctively, she hurled the musical box at the bearded child, destroying both.
Old King Cole, was he the chancellor of the exchequer at one time, I heard something about when he was compiling the budget he called for the three best fiddlers in the land.
12-09-2017, 08:24 AM
2975
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
now lets not get personal on here with talk of "squeezing" things in whilst on our holidays! this is very personal behavior and information - holidays are made I would suggest my Lord for squeezing things in after all. I would suggest that the defendant a Mr Jem works very hard in his little shed at the bottom of the garden and perhaps doesn't have time for "squeezing things in " so much in his daily life. as he would like to so he looks forward to squeezing things in on his naughty w/ends withI would suggest my Lord that he has not been squeezing too much in fact with tongue in cheek I woud suggest perhaps not enough??
12-09-2017, 11:54 AM
2976
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
a wife of mine who is getting more attractive by the year, 72 and not a grey hair in her head and she’s as fit as a fiddle,come come spittie prosecutor let the man have a little squeeze in his life sometime???
Sometimes yer ave ta read between the lines, she may have 50.000 grey hairs ON her head!
12-09-2017, 12:23 PM
2978
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
With all due thanks to my defending council The right honourable O.T Gumdrop QC, (as Rumpole of the Bailey would say the QC stands for queer customer) I fear I have no charge to answer m’lord, my leisure time is an open book for all to see, and regarding work, only when and if I feel like it, it’s not an important function to me now, besides I have provided well enough for the missus and me in our twilight years, work is more of a hobby with me now, I do just enough to stop the tools going rusty, it’s such a shame to let old tools get rusty don’t you think.
Why do coppers always place their hand on the suspects head when they are putting them into the police car? It happens all the time in Midsomer Murders, they seem to put their hand on the head and press down hard to clear the car roof, is that in the peelers manual? I’ve seen many ladies lovely hairdo’s ruined through this procedure, not to mention chaps being taken from the cars on arrival with slight concussion and dazed eyes, watch out for it next time you watch an episode, I consider it to be a form of bodily assault, I’m seriously considering quilling an epistle to “The Times” on the subject.
A tow truck was towing away a broken down new car to the garage, as it passed our house I looked out the window and said to the missus “Another one bought a Dacia”
Well someone has to fight back against all these ads on TV.
12-09-2017, 12:46 PM
2979
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
12-09-2017, 04:23 PM
2980
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Yuss - now...hair ON and hair IN,are different things,do y'see.F'rinstance,trimmin' the hairs in Jem's lugs,is NOT the same as shavin' the hairs on his chest. Which hurts. HIS fault;he should'a gone to Pec Shavers.
BUT-this all pales into TOTAL insignificance,compared to my revelation,for which I can only hope you manky lot are ready....I doubt it,coz gummy'll argue & spitty'll feign disinterest.....but either way.....
I'M BORED!
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