Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"



The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."



Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.



The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."



The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"


The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple: I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Agreed,Jem-however,the police chaps tend to habitually contact me on my own phone,rather than the official work one....so I don't really mind,as they have their own app thing that knocks unwanted intrusions for six. I've taken the job as the coach driver for the disabled centre-told 'top-cop' I'm moving on..he shook my hand and congratulated me! But the app can stay on my phone,in case they need me...hmm...not much faith in my replacement,then...

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

It’s hard to replace a good man Pug.

And now for some more totally useless information.

We had a builders labourer who drank in our local years ago, he was an excellent painter of abstract art, very much in the Picasso style, needless to say his talent was not appreciated amongst us art ignorant slobs, they used to give him an awful slagging when he showed his work in the pub but he was strong willed and shrugged it all off with a smile, he was of Spanish descent and signed his work ‘Pickaxeo’ I think he eventually went back to Spain where no doubt that kind of painting is more appreciated.
And this is also a fact, if me memory served me right. There was a local band in Dublin in the late 60’s and early 70’s called “The Rolling Tones’, they weren’t bad, far better than Bono ever was when I saw him playing in the Dandelion Market before he got lucky, the band must have hit a brick wall because they broke up. Actually the rolling Stones management threatened to take them to court and they changed the name to “Some People” The lead guitarist was brilliant (John Dunne was his name if I remember correctly) and Conny O’ Brien did the vocals and a stand up comic routine in the style Brendan O’ Carroll does on stage, not the Mrs Brown thing, but long before O’Carroll was doing it.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Paddy the Air Lingus pilot was making his first landing at Heathrow and said to Mick the co-pilot "This looks to be a tricky one, as soon as we hit the deck I want full thrust reversal and maximum braking".

The co-pilot duly obliged and the plane screeched to a halt barely two feet from the end of the runway.

Paddy said "That's the shortest runway I have ever seen".

"Aye" said Mick, "but...look how wide it is.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

What will be will be.

I thought I would die by the time I was thirty
Had a pain in me chest, and it really did hurt me
I asked the doctor what would I do
He smiled and said, well that’s up to you
“Give up the smokes and pack in the drink
And before you know it you’ll be back in the pink”
“That’s easy to say from your point of view
But I’ll thank you for trying, to give you your dew”
Forty years later I saw him in the local
He was all frail and not very vocal
How was he feeling I did wonder
If I slapped him on the back would he fall asunder?
I’m glad I’d seen him although not a word was said
For one Month later the poor chap was dead
So you see, life is just a roll of the dice
Whether you do or don’t take others advice.

(Sausage Factory Productions 2017)

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

True,dat,Jem.
Last night I had to attend a compulsory 1st-aid lecture.
The usual stuff,cpr,defibs,anti-choking,blocked airways,bleeds,etc etc.
Mostly a tad boring,as I've attended so many I have enough certificates to fill a shelf. BUT;one interesting thing was mentioned...we all had to demonstrate our prowess at the Heimlich manoeuvre...not in or of itself a difficult manoeuvre...except it's now referred to as the 'Reverse Abdominal Thrust'. Yeas,you guessed,I asked how come. Wish I hadn't,as the ambulance chap was MOST vociferous in his condemnation of Heimlich...and his preference for children of an exceptionally young age. Oops-I honestly had no idea why the name-change was so adamantly and vehemently being drummed in...and judging by the rest of the people there-all female,btw,neither did they. Wow-this Heimlich chap did SO much good in introducing into 1st-aid his life saving technique...a technique I personally have had to implement on two separate occasions - and yet he'll be forever remembered as a kiddy fiddler! A fact I discovered just last night.
Mind you,it wasn't all bad...at one point I had Jo,the manageress,who is rather buxom and extremely pretty,sitting astride my chest,pumping my sternum like crazy as she attempted to implement cpr....her admirable chesticles bouncing around just inches from my face as she gave it her all...and me not helping by whispering "I think I love you" as she tried [unsuccessfully] not to laugh.
Hmm...an interesting evening.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

You lucky old devil, Jo sounds wonderful Pug, she could bounce on my chest anytime, I can see you staying the full course and coming back for more, better tell Mrs Pug it was a big hairy Gorilla of a man sitting astride you and it was sheer hell.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

“I have taken a rib from Adam and the rib shall wear the bib henceforth” Sayeth the Lord.
Gone are the days when they willingly donned and loved they’re bibs, frilly ones, brightly coloured bibs, jokey bibs with funny slogans written on them, seems to me they’ll wear anything now bar a bib. Some men wear bibs in the kitchen now I believe, my missus won’t let me near the kitchen when she’s cooking, and yes she wears a bib. I hear some men even wear corsets to keep their bellies in too. as I always say I’m old fashioned and don’t know these things.
I wonder is that where the word Arab came from, a bastardisation of the words 'A rib’ going all the way back to Adam and Eve.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

This is bordering on the Bib-lical.