A Few Silly Ones.
Before I got through to SeaWorld booking line I was asked to say, "Jump through the hoop" and "Do a flip".............
...........They said my call may be recorded for training Porpoises!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My German girlfriend rates my sexual performance on a scale of 1 - 10.
Last night we tried out a dodgy new position for the first time. She kept yelling "nine" "nine" "nine".
I didn't even know she could speak English...................But that's my best score yet.
I'm sick of these people who think they're worse off than everyone else.
My mate severed his vocal chords and lost both legs, in an accident, but he's not making a song and dance about it.
My doctor rang me to say he'd got my wifes test results mixed up with another patients, we don't know if she's got
Alzheimers or Aids he said.
What shall I do? I asked.
Well, he replied I'm going to put her on the wrong bus ............................If she finds her way home don't s**g her!!!
When the police arrived to arrest my mate for beastiality, all his girlfriend could do was stand there and watch.
Then she wagged her tail, dropped her ball at their feet and barked!
Just bought a pack of sausages with a picture of Gordon Ramsey on the front, on the back it says prick with a fork.......................... ........Can't argue with that.