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zuludog
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19-12-2017, 09:04 AM
1

Sad news

I got a Christmas card from my friend Anne yesterday, which included a note to say that she has lung cancer, and it's terminal

But what can I do or say?
To write back and say 'I'm very sorry' is one obvious thing to do, but it sounds so weak.

This is obviously devastating news for her, but I'm afraid I'm also trying to deal with it myself

any advice would be welcome
Leia
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19-12-2017, 09:28 AM
2

Re: Sad news

Write back and say how sorry you are to hear her very sad news.

My BIL died within a month of his lung cancer diagnosis. I'm not saying this will be the case with your friend but do write back as soon as you can as your friend will welcome your reply.
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19-12-2017, 09:30 AM
3

Re: Sad news

Can you cope with a quick phone call? Maybe they’d be glad of that.
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19-12-2017, 10:09 AM
4

Re: Sad news

I would write back to say I was really sad to hear the news, that my thoughts are with her, that I'm here for her if she needs anything and to please call anytime if she would like to talk.
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19-12-2017, 11:00 AM
5

Re: Sad news

I'd ring....offer some support and get on with life.....with her where and whenever possible.

Don't mourn her sad news just yet, time is too precious.
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Meg
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19-12-2017, 11:15 AM
6

Re: Sad news

ZD that is sad news for you . I was in a similar position earlier this year when my niece's
husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and give 9 months to live in January, he only lived until June .

I just wanted both my niece and her husband to know they would be in my thoughts every day and if there was any thing at all I could do for them they had only to ask.

That 'help' took the form of being available to talk in the long dark hours of the night when the 3 children were asleep. Sometimes a listening ear can be a great help ...
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19-12-2017, 11:20 AM
7

Re: Sad news

Sorry to hear your bad news. Not too long ago we too received news that a lifelong friend had been diagnosed with terminal bladder cancer. We received the news via his daughter who called me and asked me to ring her mum and dad. Of course I did so. I wonīt go into detail here but Richard was quite open and honest about his diagnosis, but now we call him at least once a week, sometimes more. The last time being last night, he still says he feels fine and if the doctors hadnīt told him his cancer was terminal he wouldnīt know there was anything wrong with him.

We know he appreciates the calls and that he can talk to us about things without feeling embarrassed. He says it helps him that someone will talk to him without him feeling that people are tip toeing around his illness.

Perhaps your friend would also appreciate you calling too, it could be of a great help to her.
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19-12-2017, 11:28 AM
8

Re: Sad news

When I moved house, I said goodbye to an old work friend who told me he didn't have long to live. I didn't know what to say at first but in the end. decided to just be honest with him. I said I was sorry and that I understood what he was telling me. I then thanked him for all the chats and cups of tea we had shared together and that it had been a pleasure knowing him. I haven't heard anything from him this year.
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19-12-2017, 11:33 AM
9

Re: Sad news

I have a close friend who has terminal cancer. When she was told, 2 years ago, she asked how long she had left and was told anything from a few months to a few years.
They tried another course of Chemo, which actually shrunk the tumours, and she now accepts that we are all going to die of something, so gets on with the life she has left.
We chat on the phone every week and I also go out to lunch with her a few times a year.
I would suggest that you encourage your friend to enjoy her life for as long as she can, because my oncologist told me that having a positive attitude often slows the growth of the cancer.
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19-12-2017, 12:16 PM
10

Re: Sad news

As others have said really, there is nothing anyone can say makes it feel any better, but let her know you are there for her when she needs you is all you can do.
 
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