Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Jem,
Dear boy, you have written a book.......in here! Your marvellous easy style of writing is , informing and entertaining, and at the same time paints a picture of a gentler age and kinder times in you rural community.
How I’d love a shed to create my perfect hermitage, where I am king.
I’d love to have a local pub with good friends who accepted me , warts and all. Friends who ragged me mercilessly, but wouldn’t hear a word said against me, who shared secret jokes I’d be in their every day.

I’ve kept a diary for many years, sometimes in great detail, describing seasons of my life & times, my joys and pains, my history . Just about anything on my mind. Not forgetting made up rellies like Uncle Vivian.

If you were to compile & knock into shape your excellent volumes of contributions on this forum, you’d knock that woman who writes the Harry Potter drivel into a cocked hat.


What pen name would you use ........... Aiden Aherne?

Personally I toyed with the idea of Garth Angel, but I decided it was too twee. My current choice is JACK, Jack James, licensed to trill.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

As we are into tales or stories of life
Here is a story that is true. Just one of many that happened in my profession as a London taxi driver.

I picked up a job from one of London’s many hotels, to Heathrow airport.
On the way, the punter was fiddling around in the back, I assumed sorting his luggage.
Arriving at the required terminal, he paid me, and also handed me a bottle that was two thirds full of Amber liquid, with a ‘Johnnie Walker ’label on it.
“Can you use this, as it will count as a full bottle at customs and I might as well get another”.
Well it looked like the real thing, and unscrewing the top and sniffing it smelt right,
but I had my doubts.
There were other liquids that are Amber coloured.
Later that day I again was near the hotel that I picked up the the airport job from.
The doorman we called Paddymac, as he claimed that he was half Irish and half Scottish.
“Hey look what that guy gave me that I took to the port” Holding out the bottle to him.
He took it and without asking undid the top and took a swig.
I had to smile to myself. “Good stuff” he said.
Nice to be able to get a volunteer.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Ah he was definitely half Irish and Half Scottish Emjay, very few I know who would refuse a free swallow.
I’d say you have many yarns to tell about your taxi days, love to hear them if you get time.

Just a thought, did you have a place in London called a Carriage Office dealing with all things taxi? They had one here in Dublin Castle along with an Aliens Office, all these small government departments were kept on in the Castle after the British pulled out in the 1920’s. A Turkish chap I worked with when I was an apprentice had to get his work permit renewed every six months in the Aliens Office, I used to have to take him there, he would give me five bob every time, not bad when me wages was only thirty bob. Years later I worked for two years in the Assay Office in the Castle where they tested the gold and silver before Hallmarking it. The Police Forensic Labs used to be there too, I think they moved them all out to somewhere else with more space, but the Assay Office is still there, everything I make has to go for testing and marking.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Yes Jem on both those.
When I was doing 'The Knowledge' the Carrige office was 109 Lambeth road. We had to wait in this small room in the basement we called the dudgeon until called.
The earlier you got there, the sooner you were called.
Later it was moved to Islington and candidates were given appointments.
Including the one in Lambeth, there were 3 other cab testing stations.
Getting the cab testing was also a nightmare.
One time I got to the testing station at 5am in the queue to get seen as the last one of the day at 3.30pm
Again all is changed now.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Just a bit of rambling nonsense.


Technology is changing so quickly these days, it’s involved in nearly every aspect of our lives, could this be a query to an Agony Uncle in the near future now that we have robot women?

“Dear George, can you tell me where the sell by bar code is located on a mans wife? I was told on the day I married by the state registrar that all new brides had one but I was so excited that day I paid no heed to him. I’m alright for the model number, that was on the marriage certificate. The man at the wife exchange depot said If it’s out of date they won’t give a trade in allowance so I must find that bar code and compare it with the list of codes he gave me. I’m sure mine is out of date and lately I’ve been secretly taking a torch, tweezers and eye glass to bed with me and gently searching her scalp when she’s asleep, so far no luck. A fella in the pub told me the crafty brides had it tattooed inside the right eyelid where it could only be seen by their optician, come to think of it it’s been years since she paid him a visit, probably afraid to go in case she ends up in his wheelie bin. Another suggested it’s between the right big toe and the one beside it, she’s got an awful pair of feet so I’m hoping I won’t have to look there, why couldn’t they make it easy to find, like on one of those rings some women wear in their nose, have it stamped into the ring. I’m at my wits end I tell you and time is running out”

There you have it, seems to me we’ll alway have our problems where the opposite sex is concerned.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

I have an acute condition, I can't help myself from announcing when I reach the floor I want in a lift,
" First floor, Haberdashery, gimps, braids, zips, & tassels, first floor, thank you".
One day, a cheerful chappie turned to my wife saying,
"Is he with you?".
Without hesitation & stoney faced she replied
"Never seen him before in my life".
I can't say that I blame her.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

It’s hard to get the job outa the man RJ, understandable when you think of all the years we spend working.
There used to be a retired Bus Conductor in the local, he had been donkeys years in the job, when closing time came around and the barman starting shouting “Closing time Ladies and Gentlemen, could we have your empty classes please, come along now, closing time” and on an on he’s go. the conductor would have a few jars on him by then and would spring up from his seat pint class in hand “ Standing room only, full upstairs, sorry madam there’ll be another along in a minute”

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Me Mam was a Bus Conductor for over forty years Jem, bless her soul. She's issuing tickets for that long journey to the pearly gates (or otherwise) on a foggy night I can still hear her shouting 'Any more fares please?' In all of her forty years she never had any trouble, even on a Saturday night when all the drunks would board the last bus. She was regularly faced with the statement - 'Are you going to give me a fourpenny one or are you going to toss me off!' It wouldn't be acceptable these days with cries of 'Abuse' She used to take it in the spirit it was offered, as a harmless bit of fun.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

Exactly Bob, good bit of fun and everyone understood one another and never took offence, good honest hard working people who laughed at life and helped each other along the way, far different than today sadly, where everything is money and you have to choose your words carefully with folks.

Re: Gumbud Leisurely Scribbles (part 3)

If yer Mam heard that to often, it might, understandably start to get on her Threepenny Bits.