15-07-2018, 08:43 PM
21
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Originally Posted by Gravitas
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Maybe your sister was grieving and needed a drink. Show a bit of compassion.
15-07-2018, 08:49 PM
22
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Gravitas, it sound's like you are unsure, otherwise you wouldn't be asking,..i never went to my mother's funeral,did i feel bad,no i didn't, i had no say in the matter,brother's took over,i wasn't invited, will I go to my brothers funeral, if they die before me,"hell no"!..that's some families for you, ..history!.
15-07-2018, 08:54 PM
24
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Originally Posted by Panda
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Only really you can decide whether to go or not.
Gravitas - if you can live with not going and won't feel guilty for the rest of your days, don't go.
If, for whatever reason, you think you should attend, then go.
Only you know you.
15-07-2018, 08:57 PM
25
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Originally Posted by Mups
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You don't say whether this funeral is forthcoming, or if it has been and gone and you never attended, and now you are thinking about it?If you have never had contact for 30 years, were you told about her passing, or did you read it somewhere?
When my ex-husband died, I only knew because a friend told me it was in their local paper. I didn't go.
As others have said, many families become estranged, and unless somebody makes the effort to make the first move, that's how things stay forever.
If you feel you may have even a small regret for not going, then there's your answer - Go.
Duty and respect still matter.
But at the end of the day, only you know how you feel.
He loves to see divisions on the forum!!
15-07-2018, 09:00 PM
27
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Originally Posted by Artangel
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Mups, l think, Gravitas has made it up and the sister doesn’t even exist!! He loves to see divisions on the forum!!
You are quite possibly right, Art.
15-07-2018, 09:05 PM
28
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Blood ties can be a bane as much as a blessing.Gravitas ...it's your decision and no one else's.
If you don't want to go ... don't go.
To answer your earlier question..
I hated my brother's guts and was glad when he died.
The only way I'd have attended his funeral was to cheer and dance through the sermon ... so I left it for those who would genuinely have missed him and would mourn him. I had no desire to upset them.
I did go however write a goodbye note to him and popped it inside a little velvet bag which I asked the funeral undertakers to pop in his coffin with him. Which they did.
In this .. I told him what I thought of him and cleared the air.
I also rang the crem to request his ashes were buried in the same plot as our mum and dad. He was, afterall, still their son even if he was my disowned brother.
15-07-2018, 09:07 PM
29
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Originally Posted by Gravitas
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Even if you've not seen her for 30 years (and little before that as she was so much older) and that was probably at a funeral and you have no contact or liking for her "kids" who wanted her dead anyway for her "inheritance"? .
I don't see that a big age gap need have anything to do with it at all, after all even if she was more your mother's generation you might well still visit from time to time and see your cousins occasionally?
I don't think anyone can judge or advise you really, it's entirely up to you and your own feelings.
Were you never ever the least bit fond of her?
I find this kind of thread unutterably sad.
15-07-2018, 09:08 PM
30
Re: Is It So Wrong Not To Attend A Sister's Funeral?
Originally Posted by Morticia
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Blood ties can be a bane as much as a blessing.Gravitas ...it's your decision and no one else's.
If you don't want to go ... don't go.
To answer your earlier question..
I hated my brother's guts and was glad when he died.
The only way I'd have attended his funeral was to cheer and dance through the sermon ... so I left it for those who would genuinely have missed him and would mourn him. I had no desire to upset them.
I did go however write a goodbye note to him and popped it inside a little velvet bag which I asked the funeral undertakers to pop in his coffin with him. Which they did.
In this .. I told him what I thought of him and cleared the air.
I also rang the crem to request his ashes were buried in the same plot as our mum and dad. He was, afterall, still their son even if he was my disowned brother.
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