Re: Alcohol Adiction/Dependency
[QUOTE=Antibrown;173466]Cate, I admire the courage you found to post your story but I can not understand why women stay with a man who abuses them
In my eyes the lowest form of life is a man who hits women, I ended up in court because of one(another story).
I do agree with you about drink not being taken seriously as drugs and other dangerous substances are.
I can not understand why the police just send drunks on their way home when they should lock them up for the night when it could make the person realise what a fool they are.
As for teenage drinking, it has gone on since alcohol was discovered and will continue unless something is done about it.[end quote]
This question has popped up so many times particularly from my own children. Why did you stay with him?
Well first of all I loved him very much. Secondly for the first few years he was a sweet man we had a very happy social life lots of friends who loved being around him and me.
However, looking back I realise that although I am a bit of nutter by nature and love to be around people he needed to be just a little tipsy to enjoy socialising.
He was a man with no confidence. Most bullies are.
As time went on the social drinking turned from not just a weekend thing to dropping off at the pub every night or even starting arguments so that he could storm out.
I had no family to turn to I was a foster child and my foster parents were dead.
I didn't even see what was there except a stupid loyalty which stopped me from talking to our friends and get help he was my only family.
Of course as time went on he began to knock all self confidence out of me. I describe myself as a bicycle left out in the rain to rust.
I put on weight, I lost interest in me. I had to work to keep a roof over our heads and time just marches on.
We lived abroad for much of our marriage in the Caribbean where his family were and in the US where his brother lived.
They were also into heavy drinking but they had not become violent. However, even when he hit his own mother they didn't do anything. They just made excuses for him.
When I did have the courage to leave him in America and come home with two of my children, when he promised to change I allowed him to come to the new house I had managed to get in England. I stayed throught it all because I couldn't see a way out until I had managed to put some money away and Virgin Atlantic offered flights from New York to London for $199.
My daughter left home in disgust and true to form he only managed to stop drinking for 6 months and he was just as bad again if not much worse.
This may show you what a hold these evil men have over women out of the 22 years of marriage about 1/4 of which was abusive. I did not contact the police either in the Caribbean, United States or England plus I always remained faithfull because as he put it I was worthless.