More Groaners

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

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I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He asked "How flexible are you?" I replied, "I can't come on Tuesdays".

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I went to a seafood disco rave last week and pulled a mussel.

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

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This string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink,
the bartender replies, "Sorry buddy we don't serve strings in
here!"

So the string goes back outside and puts on a pair of shades and
some sunglasses. He returns back into the and asks again, "Can I
get a drink?"

The bartender replies again, "Sorry buddy, I told you we don't
serve strings in here!!"

So the string goes back outside and says to himself, "How can I
get served in there?"

So he finally comes with an idea......he ties himself in a knot
and frays his ends out real good and returns to the bar.

He sits down at the bar stool and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender says, "Hey ain't you that string that was just in
here!"

And the string replies, "Nope,..................I'm a frayed knot."

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